1991 - 1996

So then I got posted shortly after that. I had to get trained rapidly to become a supervisor, so I did MCSC (Mini Course Sup Course) in a couple of days and then started to supervise the staff. That went on for many years. Except that I was also responsible for all other Qual functions for staff too. So it was hard to be a sup all day and still care for the staff, getting them in session and so forth. At first I tried really hard to do it all, then decided screw it. There was just no way.

I was supposed to be at a meeting every week and I never made it and my senior told me that if I did not show up, I would get declared. So what was I supposed to do? Not sup and get declared or sup and get declared for not being at the meeting? I ended up walking out of the courseroom and going to the stupid meeting. No sup for 45 mins or so while I went to this dumb meeting.

And my senior told me that I was killing the staff (literally) by neglect. One staff member died of cancer, which really affected me. I tried hard to do it all but it was really not feasible.

Also we had a mission in the org at one time and everyone had to get through some study stuff. Everyone had different schedules, so I had to have my courseroom open 24 hours a day for about a week. I was getting yelled at constantly, even while I was suping, which was distracting to the students. Every time a student did not show up, I was expected to get them, even though I was suping 50 plus other students. I hated that.

Right around this time I squeezed in my auditor and C/S training and became a Grad V C/S. I was still suping pretty much all the time, with my senior constantly on my ass about what a piece of useless junk I was and how I was killing the staff.

Somewhere in that same time period, two of the staff members went Type III (Insane) and had to be cared for constantly. They put together a separate team to care for them. But I had to help on that to some degree too. I felt so bad for them. One of them was a BIG problem because he was violent, couldn't sleep and refused to eat. We tried in many ways to give him sedatives but he refused them. We finally put it in gel form and put in peanut butter sandwich and he ate it and then he figured out what we did and he went nuts all over again. Poor guy.

And sometime at one point I got a sup to help me. But he was kinda out there and didnt last long. After he sent a love letter to the Dir I & R (another male) saying he wanted to put LSD on paper to make him unqualled for the Sea Org so they could go out and be together, they kicked my sup out of the org. So then again I was stuck suping the courseroom.

Meanwhile, I met another guy in the org and we were going out. Then he wanted to break up cause he didnt want to stay in the Sea Org, but wanted to leave. Somehow we decided to get married anyways (just for sex, because no sex without marriage in there), and we were going to get divorced when he was leaving.

Soon after we got married, I ended up pregnant, because I did not know much about birth control. So we were trying to figure out if we should keep it or not. At that time, we would have been shipped to a Class V Org, not routed out. So we figured we could go. But then somehow decided not to do this. We did not have money for abortion, so I called my grandmother, who was not a Scientologist and lied to her and asked her for money, which she sent me. (Later she found out what it was used for, and was not happy about it at all). And so we went ahead with the abortion. While in the Sea Org, you are really made to think that these things are what you want. Was it? NO WAY IN HELL!!! I could have a 13 year old by now, but I have none.

This I think was the point that really affected me the most as far as the Sea Org was concerned. Abortion is no light matter. It is murder. When I did it, it did not feel that way to me. But within a couple of days, I regretted it so much. I don't know how my husband felt about it, we did not talk too much about it.

Anyways, we decided to stay together. For a while. But it was a constant back and forth battle with him: he wanted to stay married, no, get a divorce, no I was right for him so he was staying. A constant problem for me. And I put up with it for many years.

Soon after all this, I was doing more and more C/Sing and was not suping much anymore. I guess they found someone else to do that. I don't recall.

Then someone went into an org in Portland and shot 5 staff (one of them being a Sea Org member from Flag) and tried to burn down the building. So they needed people to get up there and get things under control. They sent like 25 different people up there. Some were missions, some were to work on assists and things. So I got shipped up there and we were doing 24 hour care on those injured.

(Funny thing is that all the people who were shot and injured were staff - no public. I think that the org was void of public at that time - shows you that the orgs really are empty).

Sad thing was one of the people shot was 5 months pregnant and the bullet severed her spine and paralyzed her from the hips down. She was able to keep the baby and gave birth later. Unfortunately when she was shot, the baby's brain stopped growing and when she was born she only had a brain stem. She lived about a year before passing away. The doctors said she would only live a few hours. So sad. She was a really nice person.

Meanwhile, the guy who did this was caught at the time and given a court case. He was considered mentally insane and was put in an institution I think (or deported - I can't remember to where - Africa or something I think). The problem with this person was known about for months too. He had threatened the org and San Francisco org on a number of occasions and weapons were found in his house and confiscated at least once. But someone lost track of him until he showed up in the org.

Late 1996 (The Green Bay Packers won this year!)

I remember the Sea Org member who had gotten shot was behind the reception area when he heard the shots and he came out of his office to see what was going on, and the shooter shot him, just missing his heart. He fell backwards and the shooter went in the other direction, up to the second floor to find more people. The Sea Org member knew he had to get out of the building, because he knew the shooter was still inside. So he got up and went outside. Then he laid on the ground in front of the org. The police came to try to talk the shooter out (who was in the fire stairwell that led to the outside front, with a hostage, the Treas Sec. He had already shot the ED, the D/ED, one Sea Org member and the PES - which was the pregnant one). The Senior C/S had heard the shots and went out a back door, breaking her ankle on the stairs. So the police told the Sea Org member that he was not in a safe place and he needed to move further down the street. He got up, walked further down, wiped off the sidewalk (so he would not get his uniform dirty) and laid back down until an ambulance came to get him.

The whole thing only lasted 10 minutes before the police got him out and got him to surrender. The shooter was arrested on the spot.

And we were all there to clean up the mess that ensued. The PES (pregnant one) was unconscious in the hospital. When we got there, her husband was there, with his brother too (an OT VII I think). And the husband decided that there was nothing he could do sitting around in the hospital, so he went out to sell Dianetics books. And we were set to do round the clock assists on her to get her back to consciousness. We used to come out to the waiting room to give updates to our boss so she could send all the info up the lines. But within 10 minutes of me giving information, it would show up on the local news. That was strange, but fun anyways. They promoted assist tech on the news. The PES was made to look like the victim and hero in the news, especially because she was pregnant. She finally woke up after about 24 hours I guess and the first thing after she found out that she was paralyzed and would never walk again was "can my desk be put on the first floor then?". All she thought about was going back to post (and the first floor is only a little lobby in the org, only space for reception and a lobby area).

Meanwhile, the Sea Org member was from Flag and we tried to contact the person over staff care there, and she was told what had occurred and she said she would get back to me in a few days with C/S instructions. She got in a lot of trouble for that! Yeah, the boss called CO CMO CW and told her what was going on and we got C/S instructions in 10 minutes and the folder being sent out to us to get him going on a program. He was lucky he was not killed. The bullet just barely missed his heart. He took it as a wake up call to get moving up the Bridge.

The ED also was in the hospital but I did not deal with him much except to give a few assists to him as he was OT.

The D/ED did not even know that he had been shot until he was doing his police report in a local coffee shop and went to pay for whatever he ordered and found a hole all the way through his wallet. They found the bullet lodged in his hip (we all said it was his butt, but he insisted it was his hip. We were all joking about it).

Meanwhile and million Sea Org members from different parts came over for all kinds of things. Rallies to get people into the org, rallies to get people to Flag to get up the Bridge, CCI came for promotion to people with bugged cases, etc, etc, etc. Everybody jumped in, showed up, sent flowers and left.

Then the Senior C/S was ordered to Flag for correction and maybe auditing too. Not sure. So I had to stay and help out in the org for a while and everyone else was gone.

Meanwhile, when I had left to go there, my husband and I had decided to get a divorce. The same morning I got shipped off to handle this flap in Portland. So I asked my husband if we could hold off on any divorce papers until I got back. So he agreed. No rush. So then about a month after I was gone, he called and said he loved me and sent me flowers and decided that we should stay married and he wanted to tell me his realizations. And so we stayed together for a while.

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