1996 - 1997 (ish)

So there I was, all by myself in Portland (well, all the staff were there of course too, but all the Sea Org members left). Helen, the one who had been shot, was still healing. She was at home. When she was shot, the bullet lodged in her spine and paralyzed her. It also stopped the baby's (she was pregnant) brain from growing). So sad.

So I was living in a motel with hardly anything to do except C/S a few folders a day, and visit with Helen and give her auditing and assists. She and her husband were so sweet.

Since my motel room had cable and I had nothing to do, I used to just stay there for a few hours and watch movies (then I started to notice they were all re-runs!), then go do assists and then wander into the org. I was lazy and lax out there. I was waiting for the C/S to return from correction.

So finally she returned and I went home, after three months or more being stuck there.

And my husband (of the time) welcomed me home, no longer wanting a divorce. And I went back onto post.

I remember one thing was that because I was working with Celebrities alot, I got to be involved in interesting things sometimes and meet people... you know what I mean... See, I don't mind talking about Scn here, but I feel that I cannot say things about the Celebs that came through (Some stayed on, some not), as that is there own personal life and I have nothing against them.

Funny thing, my world was so closed off in the Sea Org, they would tell me _____ is in the org, and you need to C/S, do exam, whatever, and I would be thinking "who the heck is that?". Then I would go to the store for something on time off and leaf through a People magazine and see a bunch of faces in there that I had just been involved with at work. That was weird. Some stayed on, some not. The ones that stayed on are pretty much open about being part of the religion. The others, I have to respect their privacy. They tried it, and it was not for them. Peace out.

I remember one time there was a BIG flap at CCI. A public who was 8 1/2 months pregnant was there trying to get help because her boyfriend would not marry her and she was about to deliver. He was Hawaiian and she was Asian (I think from Taiwan). Anyways, in that culture, you CANNOT raise a child without a father. They had very different views about it. Anyways, the C/S (me) let him go, not knowing the whole situation and he left. So she went up to the fifth or sixth floor of CCI and decided to jump. Luckily someone saw she was upset and followed her and barely stopped her. She got pulled back in and then all hell broke loose. The folders needed bottoms up FES, etc, etc. And I guess it was Marty Rathbun all over the C/Ses butts about what we were gonna do about it. This was my first direct experience with RTC. The other C/S was in total brainlock and the Senior C/S (Kathy Schobel) was out of it too. I don't know why or what happened to either of them, but they were mentally gone. I felt like I was in a slow motion movie.

Well, first thing was that the HGC C/S office was in a place where all of the pcs could see her. I suggested that she move down the hall so she would have a proper ivory tower. So she did, into my office. So then all the noise of this girls situation came down to my office. And Marty came in constantly to find out what was being done about it. And Angie(HGC C/S) had no answer. So I couldn't stand it anymore and I took it. I said I was going to bottoms up FES all of it. And so it went, all night, all day, all night until it was done. And he came back and I told him we FESed it all. and he said "what is being DONE about it?", and I said, uh, er, uh. OK. He said figure it out and he would be back.

And so I programmed the folders and somehow the girl got labeled Type III and criminal (however she paid for auditing - the money was not clean - something about trading in Taiwan). And he came back and I told him the folders were programmed. (That is the C/Ses job, right?). And he again said "What is being DONE about it?". OK he left again. Think, think, think.

OK, I got it. I brought the MAA (Ethics dude) up there and told him to do a non-enturbulation order on the guy. And so he did. And Marty came back and asked me what was done (The other C/S was sitting in the office all this time, not doing anything on this problem. Meanwhile, I am fixing it, not getting any sleep, and she is ripping off my husband behind my back) and I showed Marty the non-enturbulation order and he said "that is just a piece of paper, what is being DONE about it?" OK, OK, OK. He said I have 30 mins to figure it out and he would be back.

And so I figured it out. Programmed the guy for sec checking, ordered him back. Got the MAA to get him on the next flight out, or he would be declared. Set up videoing the sessions (which is easy, cause all the auditing rooms are bugged) and assigned the best auditor, who had to get all other pc's off her board. All done in 20 mins. And Marty came back and I told him what was going on and he said "great! Over to you". And that made me proud. Until I realized I got the lower conditions for this, even though it was not my post. I stayed up 3 days straight, though it was not my problem. What a load of hoakie. I got the short end of the stick in that!

(I forgot to mention CCI had gone St Hill Size in 92 or so and because of that, I got my OT Levels up to OT IV there, before all of this above. I had attested to Clear on the RPF in 90's or so).

1994 - (during the time of all the big earthquakes in LA)

My story goes backwards here:

For some reason, no matter what I would try to do, the Chief Officer there was convinced that I was trying to kill the staff and if it weren't for her intervening, they would all be dead by now. If that were the case, why in the heck did she even keep me on the post?

I was stuck supervising the courseroom (you are talking about a Saint Hill Size org that actually managed to maintain its size, AND expand, plus another org: the Manor Hotel, all of which I was supposed to service. That is like 300 people with only one of me, most of the time!).

Anyways, the medical of the staff was also my job. I only got enough funding to buy the vitamins and maybe one doctors appointment for someone, or dental which was the absolute lowest priority of the org). And I was suping the courseroom three periods a day. I used to close it down from 330 - 600 and take a nice long nap in the courseroom or in my auditing room. Almost got caught a few times.

Then one of the supervisors, Natalie Ellis (bless her heart), got very ill and we brought her to the hospital and they said she had colon cancer, stage IV (how in the heck did it get that advanced without he saying anything, I wonder in retrospect). I didnt know a thing about cancer at the time and they had told her that they could try chemo and she refused. I had no idea what to do. Anyways, she ended up in intensive care and I went to see her daily (I think I used to go mid afternoon cause I was still having to sup!).

Anyways, some flap happened and I missed going to see her and the Chief Officer ripped me a new one for that. Looking back, she was right on that. I don't want Natalie passing away by herself in a cold hospital bed. And so things were re-arranged and I was seeing her most of the time.

Then we found out she was really not going to make it. It was time to make her comfortable (please forgive me if I sound cold hearted, this is how I was raised to be in the Sea Org, I could NOT cry, and still don't, even though Natalie was a close friend to me and my brother and was our nanny when we were kids. So sad for me!!!). Anyways, the Senior C/S and Chief Off came to visit Natalie, and as part of their conversation, they told her it was OK to go. Her, remembering that these were her seniors, she said she was going to get well, she was going to make it go right!!! (Her entire intestine system was gone by this point, because of the cancer).

So they left, and I stayed. I talked to one of her doctors and they said they were going to do a surgery on her that would take 8 hours and they were not sure that she would survive it. They went into all this detail. I finally went over to Natalie, and, very nicely, explained it to her what they were about to do. Once she understood, she knew that it was not going to happen, and that it really was OK for her to go. Now she wanted to find where she would go next. And we talked about it and arranged it with a pregnant mother (I don't know if I believe in all of this part, though what happened was kinda cool here....). Anyways, later that evening I was in the lobby of the building where we all lived talking to my best friend about Natalie and we both felt something at the same time. I found out later it was the same time she passed away. I just felt like she was at peace.

In the Sea Org for over 20 years, she only made it to Clear, but she was dedicated to the cause. So sad. May she always rest in peace.

But then about 2 years later, I saw the child of the person we had arranged for her to go to. She was crawling up a set of stairs I was coming down. I had never seen her. She looked up at me and said "hi, ____ (my name)". I said hi back of course, as if that was totally normal.

And then there was another story of a security guard who was at home ill for days with a headache. He could barely move. I thought this was odd that he would be so weak from a headache, so I sent him to the doctor. And I got a call from Dr Sheilds within minutes of him arriving there. She said I need to rush him to the hospital, he had lost so much blood he was going to die within an hour if he did not get a blood transfusion.

I couldn't drive or anything, so I had to race around to find a way to get him to the hospital. There was one down the street from the doctors office, but we always went out to the county hospital, because it didnt cost very much. Man, that sucks, the thinking!!!

Anyways, he made it OK. He had been bleeding for days and did not tell me. They fixed him up.

And then another staff member, a child, was our Director of Communications. Her thyroid did not work properly and she had to be on medicine for that. I did not know a thing about it, and sometimes I did not have the money to buy her medicine, because the org did not give much for staff care (like maybe 200 - 400 per week, for that size crew, is about a buck each). And so next check up for her, the doctor is calling me again, telling me about her condition. She HAS to have the medicine, her thyroid doesn't work at all, and she will be dead within a year without the medicine. And I made sure she always got it.

And another time (actually, this person is the sister of the Dir of Communications, her mother was the CO OSA Germany or something I think). I remember the whole org went to staff meeting and I was for some reason excused and I decided to stop by the market before going home, across the street from CCI. There was an ambulance there and I happened to look in and saw a staff member in there! She was a kid but still she was on staff. I tried to get information and they would not give me any information. I told them that I would be able to get a hold of her parents and please let me know where she was going to be taken.

Long story short, she had drunk a bottle of rubbing alcohol and then she called 911 and as part of it, she told them that she did not want to talk to anyone from the church and asked them to help and protect her and then they came and got her. They pumped her stomach and got her checked over. They would not talk to anyone at all until her father arrived and they would talk to him (mother was in Germany). They kept her there for a while and made sure she was OK, and her father of course refused any psych evaluation and they got her out of there. And if I remember right, there was a whole inspection from Child Protective Services or something. I am sure that we had to fix a bunch of things. I think after that, no kids worked in CCI. And, I ended up doing her auditing on her.

She cause me problems in my own life too. She stole money in the org from letters coming in, some of which were from my family and that caused a lot of trouble and upset with my family because I didnt get the letters and they just thought I was ungrateful. So sad. Made me mad. Oh well, I got over it, my family has not. I cant tell them that.

I had so much trouble on that post. I really hated it. And everyone hated me too, because there was no way I could get it all done.

Oh yeah, the fricken' earthquake! I forgot about that! OK, next time I will do that.

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