Wanted to say hello, I'm new...
I've been in almost 11 years now. My story is a little differnt than others I have read, but I guess we all came to Scientology in different ways. For me, I was married young, into an abusive marriage, and going through a horrible divorce. Hey, dangle a carrot infront of an abused wife and she will bite at her first taste of freedom! Scientology sounded great. I read Dianetics and I was hooked. My life was going to be great. Honestly, the Freewinds wasn't that bad to me either, but after years of my now ex-husband both physically and emotionally abusing me, I really wasn't in the state of mind to make this kind of decision....I was so into it that I was clear very quick. Even the auditing made me feel like I was freeing myself, yeah I was the perfect raw meat!
Within a year the org discovered PTS most of whom were my friends, wogs. Especially my mother, a devote catholic. Then along came my now husband...long story there, took 8 years to get up the courage to get married, even after we had a child....the org....When it was known that he wasn't going anywhere even after the PTS course, I was to handle him. I was to get him to do things that would help me work the bridge. I did and it put us in financial ruins. I was told to relocate, and I talked him into it. I was set up with the perfect job giving me access to information that would be helpful. My new friends were all scientologist, a few I didn't even know were...They even had me now using the parenting teck, which I will never fogive myself for. Nothing I had done in my life was correct until the org, according to the org.
I started to wise up a few years ago, my relationship was going down the tubes and my kids weren't the fun loving kids they should be so I slowed my bridge and found myself dodging my new friends, the only friends I had in this city and quiting my job. I was screening calls but my new friends would come over...I thought the only way to disconnect was to move. We did. I told only one person, someone I thought was not a Scientologist, where we were going, and this place is not known for scientology, heck, it's not known for anything really. I got a visit from a Scientologist less than a month after moving. They were from an org in a larger city of this state. They were worried that I needed more sessions and I wasn't working the bridge. That's what they said, they were really concerned that I would cause a flap over what I knew.
Devastating things happened here within a few more months, not conected to scientology ( at least I think) so we moved back to where we origionated. For several months nothing, nothing from the org, just us. Then the calls and the emails then finally the visit. My now husband was at his wits end. This person was much more agressive. Telling me of all my overts and talked me into yet another session. I was accused of o/w's. It was the worst session I ever had. Don't tell me that disconection doen't exhist, I will tell you it does! Point blank!My husband was deemed the PTS and that I could no longer handle him so I needed to disconnect. This was not going to happen! No way shape or form! They wanted me to go to Freewinds again. I wasn't going to leave my family. I was about to be declared and something happened to me ( not scientology related) and I was hurt by the negligence of another. I had to file a lawsuit and all the sudden the org liked me again. I didn't get it, I was so close to being declared an SP and now I'm ok...I was confused and frusterated.
Mind you, none of my friends from before my endevour into scientology knew that I was involved with the org. They just thought I was a free spirit, moving, living, having fun. It was not fun! Even my attys for the lawsuit don't know of my envolvement. Anyone who wants to tell me Fair game doesn't exhist I will debate that one too...it does. My attys told me that the other side would have PI's checking em out and I have seen them, heck, they talked to my friends etc. but I don't think they are all from the INS company, some are OSA! I know it. The org knows more about my case than I do.
Awww...it's ok for me to lie, see MD's and such per the org because I'm dealing with SP's! Just don't take the meds....get them filled though not to mess things up....HIPOCRITES.
I sit here today, stuck in Scientology. They could destroy my case, ruin me and I have not a doubt in my mind they will. Want to know why I'm ok now, because in the not to distant future I will have money again and can work the bridge. I gets calls several times a week. they keep their distance at this point because of the PI's. Emails daily.
I have only dollars to my name. Putting food on the table is a luxury and there is no way I can blow! During my sessions I told everything, they know everything, I feel like I'm owned. You know what's odd is knowing all this, I still have Dianetics on my nightstand. Man, I'm really messed up!
I went so much further into my story than I wanted to but when I sat down to write it, things just came out. If my story helps just one person, it was worth it.
Jessie