I need help, please!

[Grundy]

This is a tough one.

I guess the first thing is to find out exactly why he is disassociating himself from your family. Try to ask in such a way that it comminicates no accusation but an honest desire for the truth.

It might be that for some reason your brother has somehow been directed to the idea that your mother is a "Suppressive Person." If that's the case, he is being told to, nudged to, or implied to that he must disconnect.

The concept of "good roads, fair weather" is what he should be doing. Which is to talk about things with his family that are pleasant and not connected with what he might disagree about. Whatever.

I would also suggest writing a letter addressed to the "Chaplain" of the organization he is involved with, explaining that recently your family member seems to have been disassociating himself from her/family since becoming involved. Point out that there is no intention of trying to tell him what he should or should not believe, but there is an earnest desire to mend the upsets.

The problem is that if you try other approaches that you might get labeled a "suppressive person" and he might be encouraged to disconnect from you as well.

I would start there. It's the only thing I can think of that MIGHT, and I really emphasize MIGHT, result in an improved situation in the shortest time possible.

Is it the best choice? Probably not. But it is a way of getting an inroad.

[Tru2form]

Reposting my answer:

LittleSister, I'm so sorry that this is happening, and I completely understand what you are going through.

I wish I could tell you that there's a magic word that would change your brother's mind, but there isn't. Scientology is very adept at making people. Your brother now believes that he is fighting for the good of the universe, and he has been told that anyone who tries to talk him out of it is evil.

You will have to be the grown-up in your family now. Here are a few things to tell your mom (and to keep in mind yourself!) about the best way to deal with your brother:

- Don't say anything bad about Scientology to him if you can avoid it. Continually tell him that you love him and are there for him, and that if he is happy you are happy for him.

- Don't treat him like a victim, or worry about him too much. Scientologists believe that victims are "downtone" (negative), and anyone who feels pity or expresses too much concern is trying to drive him "downtone".

- Encourage him to read books other than Scientology books. Anything at all. Recommend good books to him frequently.

- Take your brother out as often as you can, and spend as much time with him as you can. Go to the movies, go to the park, go to lectures and concerts. This will help ensure that he doesn't slip into a world of only being associated with Scientologists and no one else.

- Have your mother come here and read our site. She or you is welcome to write me at kendra@exscientologykids.com for support and help. I can help you and her understand what your brother is going through right now.

It is possible that they may try to track you down through your internet posts, but to be honest, unless you reveal a lot of personal information, or reveal the specifics of your situation, they probably will never figure out who you are. They did track me down at one point, but only because I revealed exact details of my situation. It was fairly easy for them to figure out who I was, so don't worry.

If you need anything at all, or you have any further questions about Scientology, please ask in the forums or send us an email and we'll do our best!

My mom has suffered from mental illness all our lives. So at times my mom wasn't the nicest person when you did something wrong. It seems it was worst when my older brother was young. She herself had been hit as a child to correct bad behavior, so she did the same with us. My brother is not even my father's son, my mom remarried. I came along 10 years later...my mom at that point had been medicated...so she wasn't so bad. Granted I did get a beating every now and then but I got over it as an adult. I realized my mom didn't know any better, and I forgave her. Because as adults my brother and I, my mom has helped us tremendously. My brother started to change when he got remarried to his second wife. She didn't get along with us, she was very critical of our family and voiced it constantly. To make the long story short, my mom and her stopped talking about two years ago. My brother still came by etc. But about two summers ago he started taking these classes to help him deal with his past issues (his wife set him up for it). He was really excited to be doing well. He was never the one that had done well in school. So it was a big deal for him. He asked me to go too. But being a single parent I didn't have extra time for much.

He graduated from his classes and started talking different. Always trying to analize everything or talking about how God didn't the earth etc. I guess because I have an open mind, I listened, shook my head, and said Hmm sounds interesting. My mom on the other had was outraged and they would argue. But he still kept coming around. I started calling him obeonecanobe. It was last summer that we last saw him, it was around the time that I was getting remarried (yeah remarriages happen alot in our family! lol) Well my mother and I got into a small arguement about my wedding date. She felt it should be on a Saturday, I told her it was for a Friday. My brother was there, and he was trying to set the peace. He told my mom that she should be happy for me, and realize that my wedding day was about me not her. Well my mom told him exactly what he could do with his words of wisdome, BUTT OUT! Well that put him over the edge, he started yelling and cursing at her. And that was that. I invited him to my wedding he didn't attend. My mom called him for xmas, he didn't pick up. Well she's been calling him for 9 months now and he wants nothing to do with her. I received a free 3 month membership pass to the gym where he works. So I called to make sure it was as it advertized. It just so happenes he picked up the phone. So I said hello and why I was calling. We made small talk about my weight. Then he started lecturing me about how I have been socially conditioned by my mother to have poor self image. I told him it had nothing to do with my mother. I had been a size 6 and I was now a size 10 and I didn't want to spend more money on new clothes. He insisted that it was my mom's fault I felt that way. I just listened and said Hmm that's interesting. That's when he dropped the bomb. And told me he and his wife were now scientologist. He even told me he stopped giving his autistic son his medicine because he had found a natural cure!!! I was absolutely shocked and speechless. I listened to about five more minutes of him going on and on, and then I realized nothing I would say would make a difference. So I lied and told him my battery was going to die and I had to hang up.

I'm writing this and I'm still in shock. My brother use to be the kindest most warm hearted person I knew. My mom was the most special person in his life! I was one of the most special person in his life!

My mom sent him a text message saying hello and that she missed him. He freaked out and became enraged. It was like he was insulted that she contacted him! He told her she needed her God, her psych, and the medicine that she didn't need him! And that he could not accept her in his life! My mom was and is totally devasted. She wanted to go to his job and see him. But I told her that would be worst he might publically humilate her or something.

Now my mom is pressuring me to go see him or contact him. I told her I wasn't sure what that would accomplish. She states its better if at least one family member stays in contact with him and gets more information about "how into scientology is he". I'm feeling unsure how to go about doing that...or if I would be able not voice the things I have discovered about scientology! I'm afraid if I upset him that he may disconnect from me too and think I'm a SP.