Steven Fishman Deposition: Questions for ex-Scientologists

Hi all!

Before asking my various questions, I'll just quickly specify that I'm a complete wog, never having the pleasure to even speak with a Scientologist. However, I've been incredibly interested in the topic and have been hooked on researching, reading, & watching anything I can find on the subject. Over the past many months, I've had many questions that I believe only ex-Scientologists could answer. So I finally had to join a forum so I could discuss! Everyone here seems very friendly, so I hope I don't seem too naive in asking some of these questions.

Okay, here we go!

I've loved watching all the interviews over at XenuTV, including the ones with Tory and the Woodcraft family (shout out to Astra!). However, one of my favorite videos is a deposition from a Mr. Steven Fishman, recorded around 1993. (For the 7 part video, go here: http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=S ... Deposition) What I found so fascinating about this was the fact that Mr. Fishman HAD to (under court order) answer any questions about Scientology from wogs WHILE he was still a devout believer.

In case you haven't see this long and involved video, I'll try and summarize some key points before asking my questions.
-Steven Fishman claims to own (at the time) the 3rd largest collection of LRH tapes in the world.
-He speaks in great detail about his past lifetimes and their repercussions on his current life. (These not only include his previous lives on this planet, but lives on other planets trillions of years ago).
-After his arrest in 1988, he was evidently ordered to do an EOC ("End of Cycle": kill yourself), as well as kill his (court appointed?) psychologist.
-He talks often of "exteriorizing" (leaving your body) quite candidly. He sees in 360 degrees when he's exteriorized, he can see through walls and floors, etc. He even does it on camera at one point.
-Through auditing, he "realized" he was the biological father of Jesus Christ, and felt part of his mission was to de-convert the world of Christianity. (If I understand correctly, Scientology cannot invalidate any of your wins, so therefore this was Truth to him)
-For being so well-versed, he hasn't reached OT yet (my memory is foggy here, but I don't think he's Clear yet.)

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Okay, my questions!

1. If you've seen this video: Is Mr. Fishman a little "out there" even by Scientologist standards? I mean, I realize Scientologists don't (unlike common wog understanding) walk around talking about aliens, other galaxies, etc. But Mr. Fishman talks alot about this. If you were currently in the Church and heard Mr. Fishman talk like this to you, would you say "Yes, this guy knows his stuff," or would it be closer to "I dunno about this guy... he's a little cooky..."

2. Mr. Fishman tells a story of one of his past lives in Hawaii and how his wife there had poisoned him. She is now much, much older. He went and visited her in this lifetime, and forgave her. (Well, so he claims.) Now, is he just lying to the interviewer or is he deluding himself as well? Does he actually believe he did this? Did any ex-Scientologists here have experiences like this? Did you truly believe something that never happened? Or did you always kind of know you were lying to yourself?

3. Similar to question 2, have you exteriorized? Again, are you consciously aware that you're lying to yourself or do you create such a powerful visual image in your head that you truly believe you are seeing 360 degrees, or seeing through walls, or moving objects with your mind, etc. (I'd love to write something on a wall in another room, then have an high OT exteriorize and tell me what is written on the other wall... teehee! )

4. What about EOCs? If one is told to do this, are they basically already declared a PTS and then end up just blowing? There have been suicides from Scientologists before and (maybe this is the conspiracy theorist inside me talking), I ponder whether at least one of these were a loyal Scientologist obeying their order to do an EOC. Just wondering...

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I'm very, very curious about the whole "lying to yourself" angle. If high level OTs are supposed to be able to do these things, I see it as one of 3 options: (1) you just lie to others, (2) you somehow lie to yourself, or (3) you are so deluded, your brain actually creates mental images to convince you of whatever you want to see.

Sorry this was so long! If you have the time to give me some insight, I'd truly appreciate it! Basically, I'm really interested in the experience of going through the OT levels and what you have to do to progress. (If it didn't cost money, I'd go in to a Co$ and fake it just to experience as much as I could!)

[Grundy]

I personally find this "out there" by my standards. However, to some, this might seem not so odd.

I never felt comfortable talking about "past lives" with other people. This is something that people, IMHO, do to make themselves seem cool or OT or whatever.

In practice, you are not supposed to talk about past lives outside fo a pastoral counseling session. On this site, I DID talk about it a little (My Story - Synopsis of an Old Kid).

I have heard of EOCs. But usually this is something where someone is very ill and the idea behind it is to alleviate spiritual negativity having to do with the end of life. You don't kill yourself. It is supposed to make it easier to drop the body and find a new one where you want to be.

The "congniting" about being someone famous is actually supposed to be a spiritual phenomenon caused by being the EFFECT of the famous person. (EG - someone realizes he was christ. Later, through more counseling, he finds he was on of those Jewish moneylenders that was overwhelmed by christ, or one of his followers that felt that he was no one if he didn't follow christ or some such.)

You are not supposed to "evaluate" for a preclear or tell him what to think about his case. Hubbard evaluated and invalidated constantly by saying "this is the way it was" which in effect invalidates anyone who comes up with something which is different or tells a person what is wrong with him. Both big no-nos, if you think about it.

Exteriorization is a concept I believe in. I have met people who could, and I have as well. I did not have full 360 perception, but I could describe exact circumstances at a distance and for places that I had never been. It was not a "stable" thing, except that I could exteriorize at will. Full perception was not stable.

I do think that at times this is also used as a ego thing "I am better than you because I can go out of my body" - but in actual fact, it's no one's business. No one has ever heard me talk about it (except in my story )because it's what I think, believe, feel, etc and whatever other people might think, it doesn't alter what I have percieved.

Lying to yourself? Maybe some do. Maybe we are all deluded. But maybe some of us aren't .........