Hey dudes ... the "H" Man tells us that most human problems can be traced to lingering spirits of an extraterrestrial people massacred by their ruler, Xenu, over 75 million years ago. My young assistant here has just been cleared of those horrible nasties.
Does she glow like a Neanderthal campfire or what!
Just so you'll know, this stuff is way beyond spears and clubs ... I mean I ought to know! Before Scientology I wasn't much more than a caveman - you know the kind, wandering around ... just looking for my next meal of shrubs and insects. It was a
miserable existence, and I was frustrated.
Nothing made sense. Pretty much felt like a
Homo sapien sub-species every minute of the day. You know what I'm talking about? I mean, on a good day I wasn't any more than an
Ape-Man with an ATM card.
But then it happened ... this sweet young thing asked me if I wanted to take a
personality test and the rest is history. We're talking "fast forward" of evolutionary magnitude here.
Dude ... this stuff ROCKS!
Look ... I may have been a caveman once, but now I'm on the way to my Super Power Rundown and soon you'll be calling me the
Love Doctor of the World. Ain't that right honey?
So ... you in ... or you out?
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensée #895