Mon Aug 18, 2008 7:58 am
Missed Connections
For anyone who has not yet discovered the joys of the "Missed Connections" section on Craigslist, I highly suggest you start reading them. I haven't read anything so brilliant since I picked up Vice for the first time.
The Missed Connections is a section in the personals for people who saw each other out, or on the street, and don't know each other, but want to. They describe the situation where they saw the other person and hope that person reads the post.
Some of these are totally self-deluded, some of them are really sweet, some of them are funny, but all of them paint an awesome picture of one single instant. You can just imagine that perfect moment in time. It's like real-life modern prose.
I started reading these a few days ago and I now whenever I have a few free moments I look at them. I sent Kyle some of my favorites and we were alternately laughing so hard we were crying, and saying "awwww!"
Check these out:
Blonde girl on Roosevelt btw 63 & 64 near 99 Cents Paradise on Aug 15 - m4w - 19 (Woodside, Queens)
You were wearing a colorful (maybe a hint of blue) hoodie/sweat jacket, blonde, and beautiful. I saw you walking down Roosevelt near 99 Cents Paradise. I made a stupid joke about how there are $1.99 stores in Brooklyn.
Woman with big backpack in Starbucks. - m4w - 45 (Forest Hills)
You were so pretty that I was about to get up and try to strike up a conversation with you as you waited for your drink. But then, I saw a ring on your ring finger. In retrospect, perhaps it wasn't a wedding ring but just an "I'm a girl." ring?
Girl having trouble pronouncing "Nietzsche" at the Strand - m4w - 30 (Union Square)
If there's anything else I can help you with, please hit me up. You're mad good looking -- I'd like to get to know you.
Bayside Northern Blvd Dunkin Donuts - m4w (Bayside)
Hoping you read these, because if there ever was a missed connection, this was it. You were getting out of your car, Friday morning, I was getting in. You looked back, (I guess to have a better look), while walking through the parking lot. If not for being late for a meeting I would have tackled you....
It is what it is...
Almost hit by a pigeon in SI Ferry Terminal - m4w (Whitehall Terminal of SI ferry)
While approaching the bench on which I was seated, you yelled out when one of the pigeons in the terminal whipped by your head. You sat next to my mom and I who were on our way back to the Island after lunch in the City. You were listening to an Ipod. We all had a laugh at your expence, but it was pretty funny...
When you sat there, I wanted to start chatting you up, but it would have been weird trying to flirt with my mom sitting right next to me. Hahaha
Please tell me you check these things........
Jury duty on Main St. in Bridgeport - m4w (Bridgeport)
You are the lovely black lady working with a dress and high heels on. You said welcome to jury duty. I would love to take you out to dinner. I am a nice looking Italian guy. I was there last Tuesday, and could not stop looking at you. You are very sexy.
dark haired girl coming off downtown 4/5 union sq 7pm Sat - m4w (Union Square)
I was carrying my skateboard and was about the get on the downtown 4 train when you got off - the way you looked at my made me forget what I was doing. I tried to go after you but there were too many people. Damn people.
I walked all over union square for half an hour looking for you - for that 1/2 hour the world disappeared and all I could see was your face.
I hope that I see your face again.
I walked you to The Village Idiot and never asked your name - m4w - 27 (Columbia)
You couldn't find The Village Idiot and I was the only sober person in all of Five Points that night.
I walked you there (and in my opinion managed to be vaguely charming while we talked) but never got around to asking your name or if you have a boyfriend or a fiance or a can of pepper spray you use on strangers who ask you out.
I went back to The Village Idiot a few minutes later to find you and gather this key information, but I seemed to be the only guy not in a baseball hat, polo and boat shoes, so I felt awkward and scurried away. A new low.
That is until I typed this all up and posted it to Craigslist. Thus making this the new new low.
Feel free to email me or to show this to your friends and laugh hysterically.
p.s. I feel I've preserved a tiny scrap of my dignity by NOT titling this post 'I was the village idiot that night...' or some other stupid play on words along those lines.
p.p.s. To the homeless guy who ridiculed me for letting you walk away I say 'Homeless Guy you were SO right.' Tragically homeless people rarely browse the internet.
The Missed Connections is a section in the personals for people who saw each other out, or on the street, and don't know each other, but want to. They describe the situation where they saw the other person and hope that person reads the post.
Some of these are totally self-deluded, some of them are really sweet, some of them are funny, but all of them paint an awesome picture of one single instant. You can just imagine that perfect moment in time. It's like real-life modern prose.
I started reading these a few days ago and I now whenever I have a few free moments I look at them. I sent Kyle some of my favorites and we were alternately laughing so hard we were crying, and saying "awwww!"
Check these out:
Blonde girl on Roosevelt btw 63 & 64 near 99 Cents Paradise on Aug 15 - m4w - 19 (Woodside, Queens)
You were wearing a colorful (maybe a hint of blue) hoodie/sweat jacket, blonde, and beautiful. I saw you walking down Roosevelt near 99 Cents Paradise. I made a stupid joke about how there are $1.99 stores in Brooklyn.
Woman with big backpack in Starbucks. - m4w - 45 (Forest Hills)
You were so pretty that I was about to get up and try to strike up a conversation with you as you waited for your drink. But then, I saw a ring on your ring finger. In retrospect, perhaps it wasn't a wedding ring but just an "I'm a girl." ring?
Girl having trouble pronouncing "Nietzsche" at the Strand - m4w - 30 (Union Square)
If there's anything else I can help you with, please hit me up. You're mad good looking -- I'd like to get to know you.
Bayside Northern Blvd Dunkin Donuts - m4w (Bayside)
Hoping you read these, because if there ever was a missed connection, this was it. You were getting out of your car, Friday morning, I was getting in. You looked back, (I guess to have a better look), while walking through the parking lot. If not for being late for a meeting I would have tackled you....
It is what it is...
Almost hit by a pigeon in SI Ferry Terminal - m4w (Whitehall Terminal of SI ferry)
While approaching the bench on which I was seated, you yelled out when one of the pigeons in the terminal whipped by your head. You sat next to my mom and I who were on our way back to the Island after lunch in the City. You were listening to an Ipod. We all had a laugh at your expence, but it was pretty funny...
When you sat there, I wanted to start chatting you up, but it would have been weird trying to flirt with my mom sitting right next to me. Hahaha
Please tell me you check these things........
Jury duty on Main St. in Bridgeport - m4w (Bridgeport)
You are the lovely black lady working with a dress and high heels on. You said welcome to jury duty. I would love to take you out to dinner. I am a nice looking Italian guy. I was there last Tuesday, and could not stop looking at you. You are very sexy.
dark haired girl coming off downtown 4/5 union sq 7pm Sat - m4w (Union Square)
I was carrying my skateboard and was about the get on the downtown 4 train when you got off - the way you looked at my made me forget what I was doing. I tried to go after you but there were too many people. Damn people.
I walked all over union square for half an hour looking for you - for that 1/2 hour the world disappeared and all I could see was your face.
I hope that I see your face again.
I walked you to The Village Idiot and never asked your name - m4w - 27 (Columbia)
You couldn't find The Village Idiot and I was the only sober person in all of Five Points that night.
I walked you there (and in my opinion managed to be vaguely charming while we talked) but never got around to asking your name or if you have a boyfriend or a fiance or a can of pepper spray you use on strangers who ask you out.
I went back to The Village Idiot a few minutes later to find you and gather this key information, but I seemed to be the only guy not in a baseball hat, polo and boat shoes, so I felt awkward and scurried away. A new low.
That is until I typed this all up and posted it to Craigslist. Thus making this the new new low.
Feel free to email me or to show this to your friends and laugh hysterically.
p.s. I feel I've preserved a tiny scrap of my dignity by NOT titling this post 'I was the village idiot that night...' or some other stupid play on words along those lines.
p.p.s. To the homeless guy who ridiculed me for letting you walk away I say 'Homeless Guy you were SO right.' Tragically homeless people rarely browse the internet.