Banks Foreclose on Hell! Satan Moves to Winter Residence at

Moderator: doubleVee



User avatar

ESK Reporter

Posts: 3756

Joined: Fri May 02, 2008 10:34 pm

Post Wed Mar 31, 2010 6:43 pm

Banks Foreclose on Hell! Satan Moves to Winter Residence at

In an prepared statement from his winter residence at Scientology World Headquarters in Sarasota, Satan expressed it was business as normal for the Prince of Darkness, "LO AND BEHOLD ME. ABANDON ALL YE HOPE AND DESPAIR AT THE ARRIVAL OF THINE LORD. STARE INTO MINE EYES AND FORESEE THE DESOLATION OF THINE SOUL."

Despite Satan's optimistic statement, Scientology insiders say the Dark Lord is "very upset at losing Hell," and causing "significant disruptions" at the hub of the controversial church.

"He just showed up and started acting like he owned the place," said one insider who wished to remain anonymous in fear of reprisals. "I offered to give him an e-meter reading, and the next thing you know, the meter is shoved up my anus and I can't get it out! All Satan would say is he'd remove it 'after the space aliens show up.'"

Others objected to Satan's bringing Scientology founder, L. Ron Hubbard's, soul in is carry on luggage, and fashioning the soul into a makeshift codpiece. "I mean, come on! We really think highly of that guy," said a disgruntled administrator. "Just wearing it is bad enough, but he walks around all day saying, 'Give L. Ron a kiss.' I mean, it's just rude."

The administration did admit, however, that is was "kind of funny," the way Hubbard's soul squealed every time Satan used the bathroom.
"Be the change you want to see in the world."

Sharone Stainforth


Posts: 175

Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2008 5:52 pm

Location: East Sussex.

Post Sun Apr 11, 2010 4:55 pm

I like the picture of Satan, in better days. :lol:
the man who"wanted" to rule the world was a science fiction writer, who lived out his fantasies in real life.Some body some day will say this is illegal. It won't come soon enough.

Return to Off Topic & Humor

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group.
Designed by ST Software