My Scientology Celebrity Fanfiction

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Anonymous9104

OT8 Class 12

Posts: 418

Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 1:07 pm

Post Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:54 pm

Re: final word

You are asking people to read you with an open mind, and to be willing to challenge and expand your beliefs.

Are you a hypocrite? Expand your mind to the fact maybe everyone doesn't want to see the word slut or read your stories...

I get the point there are all kinds of writers, and I believe in free speech.

I get sick of both religious and anti religion morons too that everything is all good or all bad...

Life is best achieved with balance...

Tell your mommy you need your diappy changed... cry baby.





I ask those who read my stories to please do so with open minds. Be willing to challenge and expand your beliefs. Do not hate. Or if you can't do that, for your own good and mine, I hope you'll stay away.[/quote]
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DRE

Post Sun Dec 28, 2008 9:38 pm

It is exactly your crap attitude that causes me to behave this way, Anoymous9104. Why don't you go bother someone else, okay? I'm not a crybaby. And you don't have to read my work if you don't want to. I hoped I could find tolerance here. Oh well.

Iknowtoomuch: I believe everything you bring up about OSA and the Freezone. In my stories I cast the former as an antagonist and the latter as a counterpoint to the main CoS. Is it not the same in real life? IMHO, you can judge Scientology by its public. Were the former Scientologists on this site not such people once? Did they not believe they were helped by their church? Why is the viewpoint that they weren't the only valid one to you? Scientology is not Nazism. I did not see it that way while I was inside. And I am out. I can confirm that. I got in briefly to research my stories. I also found friends inside who disputed the negative image of Scientology. They never tried to convert me or even told me what they were until I found out the hard way. When I wrote my stories, they politely informed me I had things wrong and helped me make my work better. I have never felt harassed by them. I never felt like I was being belittled either. I sure feel that way now.

I left Scientology because it cost too much, I never really needed it, the sermons were too repetitive, there were things about them I knew from the Internet that I could not ignore while I was inside, some jerks looked down on me while others befriended me and I could never figure out what side the church was really on, and I faced suspicion for my religion from many people including my family. It got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore in a mere two and a half months. I walked away on LRH's birthday 2007. I know it was right. I have never felt bitter. I understand why you feel bitter and others do, but I ask you to please consider that someone else might not. They also might be sorting out their emotions in a unique way- writing fiction about them. I'm willing to brave the consequences of my deeds by talking about them here. Why can't you respect that? Maybe you can now that I've explained it. I hope so. If you have further questions, I'm willing to hang around here as a guest. No one is watching over my shoulder. You have my word.
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DRE

Post Sun Dec 28, 2008 10:25 pm

Ok, I looked at the registration forms and I didn't realize there were actual children here. I apologize to them and to people like Anon9104 who are offended by the full disclosure in my postings on this thread. I hope sometime I will stop "exceeding the number of registration attempts allowed per session" so I can register. We'll see if it works.
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Anonymous9104

OT8 Class 12

Posts: 418

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Post Sun Dec 28, 2008 10:33 pm

well I made the mommy diappy joke cuz I think it is funny, it isn't too insult you really... I shouldn't be so selfish... As for kids here, yes. And it is noble and kind of you to humble yourself in apology...

Although I don't make you act anyway. You can ignore me. I just was saying my opinion, and I said before in another post, I'd prefer you to stay. When everyone is just a like, it is SO boring!
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Iknowtoomuch

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Post Mon Dec 29, 2008 7:13 am

DRE wrote:Iknowtoomuch: I believe everything you bring up about OSA and the Freezone. In my stories I cast the former as an antagonist and the latter as a counterpoint to the main CoS. Is it not the same in real life? IMHO, you can judge Scientology by its public. Were the former Scientologists on this site not such people once? Did they not believe they were helped by their church? Why is the viewpoint that they weren't the only valid one to you? Scientology is not Nazism. I did not see it that way while I was inside. And I am out. I can confirm that. I got in briefly to research my stories. I also found friends inside who disputed the negative image of Scientology. They never tried to convert me or even told me what they were until I found out the hard way. When I wrote my stories, they politely informed me I had things wrong and helped me make my work better. I have never felt harassed by them. I never felt like I was being belittled either. I sure feel that way now.

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By the way you are talking about Scientology, I have my dobts you know much about it. They don't have "sermans".

Antangonist...that's it...seriously. Do you have any idea what OSA does to people??
Then you weren't there very long. Or you are ignoring what really happened.
How long were you in Scientology?
I don't think anyone can justify what OSA does. And nothing else that is good justifies having an organisation like OSA.
Talking to a Scientologists doesn't give one the reality of what happens in Scientology, therefore you cannot judge Scientology by it's public. They also wont tell you the truth, they'll twist it to sound good. That's as good as lying.
Scientologists don't even know what OSA does. And there are many things Scientology hides from it's members...so how can you possibly judge Scientology by it's public.
"Everybody has a right to believe what they want to believe. But I don't believe that anybody has a right to trick anybody, to hurt anybody, to harm some body, for their own purposes." - Jason Beghe
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DRE

Post Mon Dec 29, 2008 3:17 pm

You know Christians are responsible for the Spanish Inquisition, the Crusades, abortion clinic bombings, televangelists cheating people, gay bashing, slavery, Jim Jones, and hundreds of other nasty crimes. Someone you love believes in Christianity and lives it in a good way despite all this. Maybe they don't know about the bad stuff, maybe they do and have chosen not to be that way. Either way, they're a good person and not a bad one. You know them, you know it to be true. Can you damn them along with the followers of Christianity who did and do sponsor the bad stuff?

Replace Christianity with Scientology in the above paragraph and you got where I'm coming from. And yes, I have researched Scientology for years. I was only inside 2.5 months, but I know people who have been in far longer and found benefit. Some who haven't too, yes, but they're now out. A few are on this site. Some are bitter, most ain't. I want to be on the side of the good in this debate, good Scis as well as good antis. It's difficult, yes, but I am staying there. No matter what.

I agree OSA has done a lot more harm than good. I use them the same way the Jesuits and Opus Dei were used in "Da Vinci Code"- twisted fanatic conspiracy, bad guys. At the same time, they used to be much worse (Guardian's Office days) and the director (Mike Rinder) is trying to clean them up. His success is mixed since the Co$ management threatens him as much as anyone. He's out now, but he still has allies inside. They keep living their religion in a way that defies its evil. One day, they will reform Scientology. Even if it takes a billion years.
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speckledtrout

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Post Mon Dec 29, 2008 6:56 pm

Ya know, if you dropped me back in the 1400s, I'm pretty sure I'd be pissed at the Christians as a whole too. In fact, I tend to be now, but I recognize it for the prejudice it is...

So, first : COS is much smaller, so the proportion of those involved in a organized structure which commits evil acts is much higher than say, the Vatican vs the laypopulation. Secondly, throughout history there have been large elements of Christianity that were sincerely devoted to doing good and DID that good. You have cases where it is severely questionable, but the point stands.


Look, G-d knows I'm not a big fan of Christianity or many devout Christians I have met. There are sincere and loving people that are also Christians, of course. But comparing it directly to Scn *at this point in history* is silly. COS is an evil organization, "Scientology" has the potential to eventually become a relatively benign belief system if enough people break off and change things. That doesn't happen by being polite to the COS.
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Iknowtoomuch

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Post Mon Dec 29, 2008 9:27 pm

DRE wrote:You know Christians are responsible for the Spanish Inquisition, the Crusades, abortion clinic bombings, televangelists cheating people, gay bashing, slavery, Jim Jones, and hundreds of other nasty crimes. Someone you love believes in Christianity and lives it in a good way despite all this. Maybe they don't know about the bad stuff, maybe they do and have chosen not to be that way. Either way, they're a good person and not a bad one. You know them, you know it to be true. Can you damn them along with the followers of Christianity who did and do sponsor the bad stuff?

Replace Christianity with Scientology in the above paragraph and you got where I'm coming from. And yes, I have researched Scientology for years. I was only inside 2.5 months, but I know people who have been in far longer and found benefit. Some who haven't too, yes, but they're now out. A few are on this site. Some are bitter, most ain't. I want to be on the side of the good in this debate, good Scis as well as good antis. It's difficult, yes, but I am staying there. No matter what.

I agree OSA has done a lot more harm than good. I use them the same way the Jesuits and Opus Dei were used in "Da Vinci Code"- twisted fanatic conspiracy, bad guys. At the same time, they used to be much worse (Guardian's Office days) and the director (Mike Rinder) is trying to clean them up. His success is mixed since the Co$ management threatens him as much as anyone. He's out now, but he still has allies inside. They keep living their religion in a way that defies its evil. One day, they will reform Scientology. Even if it takes a billion years.



Except that there is more than one "Christian" church. There is only one Scientology church. And within those Christian churches there are extremeists....the church of Scientology backs their extremeists. That's the difference.
The church of Scientology will never reform. It's written into it's books of how to operate and deal with critics.
I can see why you get so much crap from people.
As far as I can see, Freezoners are as wacked as Scientologists. But at least they don't back the BS the church of Scientology does.
BT's.....yeah right.
"Everybody has a right to believe what they want to believe. But I don't believe that anybody has a right to trick anybody, to hurt anybody, to harm some body, for their own purposes." - Jason Beghe
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Anonymous9104

OT8 Class 12

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Post Mon Dec 29, 2008 9:36 pm

Iknowtoomuch, so glad you are here to counter this, it is absolutely exhausting... and I simply don't have the energy. The things being said, are so old and really... just tired to me. It is so overstated and well known as to be like a young kid listening to Led Zepplin for the first time or Pink Floyd as though it were new... the Inquisition? I'm glad you know about it Dre, but for gosh sakes, I feel like at 30, you are a very immature 30!!! Especially as recently as 2004 running into an Org complaining (then quickly running away ~ as I imagine more of a 15 year old doing), is rather surprising to me, and although I am glad you are here... I must throw in the fact that Scientology and Ex-Scientology forums, especially the latter, are not for the faint of heart of glib opinions... to just say the first thing that comes to your mind without a lot of forethought likely gets you bawled out for carelessness, as these people here have taken years to recover and evaluate their situations... the people here, for the most part, regulars here, seem to measure twice and cut once with their words, responses and comments. I have been called out myself, and often rightfully so... There is one thing people here are, and that's crystal clear... and when they are not, they explain themselves until they become so... they don't throw out wishy washy half thought through opinions and parade them as fact... so if you get a lot of heat, you know why... what I have learned here is to be more humble, to consider others more, and realize that the people here are usually very smart... and will call me out as quickly as they call you out. So, maybe this will help you think more clearly, and grow up a bit? sorry dre, I hate to insult you, but it will get better... you'll get smarter hanging around smart people on here
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DRE

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Post Tue Dec 30, 2008 3:16 am

Thank you, Anon9104. It is indeed my hope to become smarter here. I lurked on this site for a significant period of time before I started posting. I know how people here will measure twice and cut once, and I am very grateful. I am also aware there is not as much traffic here as there is on places such as IMDB, ARS, Operation Clambake and WWP.org from people who view the anti-Co$ movement as a cause of unadulterated hatred or a joke. I am grateful for that too.

One more thing I have to say to you- I consider it naive to not think of the possibility that I too have felt the pain of Scientologists who have taken years to recover from their personal traumas. My mother, an accountant and ESL teacher, suffers from epileptic seizures. She and my dad, a patent lawyer, have never gotten along that I can remember. They divorced when I was three. Mom has four sisters and one brother, all divorced. One of my aunts is diabetic and a born-again Catholic evangelical. Another lived as a battered wife for almost ten years and only escaped her husband after the birth of her son and with the help of police officers and the rest of the family. I grew up an over-imaginative constantly bullied child with a mild case of Asperger's Syndrome autism. I have seen multiple psychologists for my issues. I was arrested for petty theft twice as a teenager. All this happened before I knew what Scientology was.

I've had other traumas too. I will not go into specifics here. I am more proud of the triumphs in my life. The fact that I have overcome my social withdrawal through personal courage, same as famous deprogrammer Ted Patrick. My degree in history from UT-Austin, my status as salutatorian of the CAPCO-RTA Law Enforcement Academy's 33rd class, my highly praised writings. Let's not forget my six years of security experience, much of which was spent working under losers ranging from a family of criminals who were cheating their clients (I never knew till after I left the company for a higher paying job elsewhere, called my past employer for a reference with a police department three months later, and found out they had gone out of business and the bosses were in jail) to a wannabe US Army Ranger who treated his employees as though they were a bunch of corrupt slack-jawed idiots (to be fair, many of said employees were exactly that).

I know how people can be greedy, megalomaniacal, and stupid. I am determined rarely if ever to be so myself. That's one of the reasons why I so often wander through places such as this. If I am to write about the lives of Scientologists, I must learn about and come to terms with their pain.

On the subject of Scientology reforming, I believe it can. The possibility exists. If they're really a complete corrupt mafia, why have so many of their critics admitted that they found the majority of Scientologists "basically good"? This includes Tory Christman and Jason Beghe among others. Why have some critics, including Stacy Brooks and Bob Minton, been able to make peace with the cult they once fought? Why are the admins of this very website able to say they would treat any former Scientologist (including executives like Mike Rinder and Shelly Miscavige) who comes in looking to get out or make peace as a person capable of changing their past corrupt ways? They have demonstrated the fulfillment of this promise many times. I think faith in the possible change of Scientology for the better is justified by this.

Now I do understand that there are some very disturbed people out there who think they can justify their crimes and don't want to admit them. There are plenty of Richard Nixons in the Co$, including DM and OSA operatives. So far no journalist or other interviewer has been able to become these people's David Frost. The public, especially their victims, are very upset that there has been very little if any trial, confession, or apology for Co$ crooks. (I just got home from watching the movie Frost/Nixon, hence the analogy.) I recognize how much that can amplify their disappointment and pain. Adding to that trauma is not something I do easily.

I feel I must do it, though. I have seen the consequences of unchecked ignorance. One of my grandfathers was a recovering racist who changed his ways during the civil rights movement. I knew him as an inspiring skilled doctor who worked me like a drill sergeant on his cattle ranch. He bashed blacks, Mexicans and homosexuals on multiple occasions, yet still had good friends of those persuasions. My other grandfather died of Alzheimer's disease and was isolated from the rest of the family during his condition. His wife suffered the same fate. When I knew them, they were grand comics and wonderful loving friends. I regret that I was not allowed to be there for them while their minds disintegrated, and that I never could fully understand what little of their condition I learned.

I myself have been teased, threatened, and harassed on numerous occasions over my own mistakes and ailments which I cannot entirely control (such as my imagination and my autism). I have also seen anti-Scientologists glibly call people clams, cult shills, Stepford Wives and other dehumanizing labels. I have observed the jokes, violent threats, and other propaganda they have created that sponsor such attitudes. If you don't believe such things exist, check out the Tom Cruise board on IMDB.com. I can tell you whose post histories to look at there if you like. I have seen such attitudes expressed with very little regard for the trauma it can create in people who honestly believe in Scientology. I myself have sponsored such trauma. I still walk the Road to Damascus today.

I have read the opinions of many former Scientologists who believe that persecution is not the best way to help their church change. Some of them have posted on this very site. I agree with them. I think persecution is a bad thing, and calling all Scientologists including the ethical ones members of a corrupt evil organization with no chance for reform is certainly persecution.

Every evangelical Christian gay-basher has scripture to back up their hatred. So do al-Qaeda and other Muslim terrorist groups. Yet there are many mosques and churches who do not sponsor such causes. They have scripture backing them up too. This is not the case for Scientology on the same scale as of yet, but it does exist. Witness Keith Relkin's work to get homosexuals accepted by California orgs. Witness Tom Cruise's recent admissions that he was overly evangelical and his willingness to joke about it with David Letterman. Witness Scientology celebrities who have never been as crazy as Tom that I've observed. Witness former Scientologists who have found the ability to leave whatever their part in their church's corruption was behind. There are people like them inside the CoS too. I have observed them lurking on Scientology forums such as Belief.net. I have interacted with them while I was inside and since I got out.

I agree that being polite with Scientologists is not always the best way to get through to them and get them to change their ways. However, I find it far more refreshing than calling them "cultie Scilons" and other names, demanding they admit their crimes, and other bull-baiting methods. Don't the villains in the Co$ do enough of that?

This is all just my opinion of course.
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speckledtrout

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Post Tue Dec 30, 2008 5:59 am

You can (and in my opinion should) be polite to laypeople. That's different from being polite to the organization. I think Anon does this at protests, they are nice to people going in or out, but they still protest.
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DRE

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Post Tue Dec 30, 2008 6:26 am

If they are that way at protests, good for them. I don't consider masks and slogans such as "Scientology Kills" polite, though. I have also seen many examples of impoliteness towards lay Scientologists online. Maybe I should do a test of the waters at an Anon protest sometime. I haven't yet been able to find the courage. [shrugs] Why not? Any Anon wants to PM me or conduct other investigation into whether I'm OSA or Co$ (I'm not) can feel free to do so. I even am willing to set up a meeting by phone or in person if someone wants to try a Frost/Nixon. I'm game. :) PM me, though. I'm not giving out my phone or email in public here.
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Orderous

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Post Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:51 am

Most of the buildings protested don't have laymen scilons in them though. It's all OSA and "trained" Sea Org members.

I know this to be true from London (where they even completely emptied out the buildings on several occasions, leaving only a security guard from an outside company in front of the building), and from what I've read of reports in other places they generally tend to do the same. It's only the very large and very small that will have laymen scilons in the building.

And once again I remind you, these protests are not aimed at the scilons, but at the public that needs to be made aware off what that free stress test could end up costing them
The most important thing to learn about Life, the Universe, and Everything, is firstly; the answer is 42, and secondly; how utterly ridiculous it truly is
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speckledtrout

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Post Tue Dec 30, 2008 11:00 pm

Well what on earth do you want them do put on the signs, "Scientology (tm) Might Cause You Some Emotional Distress"? When I said polite, I meant not getting up in people faces, touching them, screaming at them. Just generally exercising their right to peaceful protest--not spineless protest.

As for internet harassment, yes, I'm with you on it being wrong and unproductive.

I'm going to have to dispute Oderous on the statement that the orgs have no laypeople though. I can't give too many details, but there have been a few protests at CC --and there are a lot of laypeople in there regularly. They had to shut down the brunch on Sunday two weeks in a row bc they weren't getting enough customers.
mikolot mayim rabim adirim, mishbarai'yam
--Ps. 93
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DRE

OTIII

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Post Tue Jan 13, 2009 2:30 am

Don't know who these spammers are, but I just want to say I don't support them. This thread was a valid discussion to settle real issues and here they come trying to hijack it. Lousy. Oh well, my issues are long handled anyway, so now I don't care. The admins can delete this thread if they want. Thanks to all who gave help to me on ESK. Later.
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speckledtrout

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Post Tue Jan 13, 2009 5:45 pm

Ok I have to admit this made me just fall over my chair laughing. :lol:


I guess maybe when people search "Scientology" and "porn" maybe they'll at least get an education.


(must stop giggling now)
mikolot mayim rabim adirim, mishbarai'yam
--Ps. 93
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DRE

OTIII

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Post Tue Jan 13, 2009 9:05 pm

Hey, if people searching for such terms come across my stories, which admittedly could be called porn (I prefer erotic or adult fanfiction), and enjoy them, that would be fine with me. I did write the stories partly to educate people about Scientology after all.

The other part was to write about hot interesting celebrities whom I liked and felt were being ignored or marginalized because of people's misconceptions about the celebrities' religion. I could link to a fake Conan O'Brien interview I wrote for my site which explains things in more detail, but that would violate forum rules and I don't want that.

Let's just say I saw great stories of this nature about non-Scientologist celebrities by other authors, wanted to write my own, and found Scientologists an untapped area. I then created several characters including:

- a free-spirited born and raised Scientologist actress who doesn't mind befriending everyone whether they like her church or not. She is daring and intelligent enough to win over and influence even those who dislike it. This is my heroine.

- another actress who has heard all the negativity about Scientologists and thus assumes the heroine must be crazy for even being a church member. Nevertheless she has to fight a terrible attraction to that actress- or maybe she doesn't want to fight.

- a fanatic Scientologist celebrity who wants to evangelize for his church and wants the heroine to help him. He is pissed off when the heroine declines his advances, but doesn't treat her like a suppressive person. He argues with her but gives her the right to her own view.

- the auditor of the above celebrity, a crazed OSA Sea Org sociopath, who does see the heroine as an SP and will enact Fair Game measures against her along with her friends and family- all in their church's name.

- that auditor's bumbling bull-baiting volunteer minister minions.

- that auditor's twin sister, also an OSA cleric, who knows Fair Game is wrong and works to undo her sister's damage to their church (she's the other face of Scientology).

- the innocent actress the evil auditor hooks up with her evangelist celebrity associate. Their love is true, but the tabloids pay very strong attention to their marriage and make all sorts of awful accusations. Some of these become self-fulfilling prophecies. It falls upon the heroine to undo the damage with counseling before the marriage collapses (she's a friend of both husband and wife, and in addition to acting is a secret Hollywood life coach with a psychology degree).

- an Anon hacker the heroine picks up in a bar. They find out too late that one is Scientologist and one's anti. Romeo and Juliet results, only she lives.

- a former police officer who manages a swinger's club the heroine frequently visits. He's also high up in a secret society that works to help the world (think Illuminati meets Quakers). This society once had a disgruntled former member named Ron Hubbard steal and pervert their philisophy to found his own religion. They have been dealing with the results of his mess ever since (this was inspired by Dan Brown's Angels & Demons).

- the ex-cop's club security chief, a former South African Special Forces officer who was helped during the apartheid era by Johannesburg Scientologists going against both their government and their church's prejudices. He knew Scientology was not right for him and left, yet has felt he owed the church a favor ever since.

Every character based on a real person is used fictitiously in a positive manner (this includes the villain, who is positive in that she shows people what not to do). This even goes for David Miscavige, who in my universe has a conscience and wants to reform his church in response to all the bad stuff that has gone on. It's a slow process, though, because the fanatics are many and committed to their views. In addition, DM does not want a schism. He's willing to let the heroine, the good auditor, and the secret society do as they will, but has to also give the evil auditor a pass (her dad is a MAJOR fundraiser for the CoS). So they have to do good while working to counter opposition from both the bad auditor and people who believe the negative side of Scientology is its only side. Everyone has to manage public relations. It's a twisted vicous cycle. I'm not sure how much longer I'll write it or how much more detail I'll get into with it, but it has been fun so far.

The CoS has never directed action against my stories that I am aware in the three years I've been writing thus far. I hope that keeps, yet sometimes I wonder what I might do if they did enact such action. Part of my reason for being here is to dare them to do something. I'm a little bold, I guess.

I must also say I have gone through many issues with my writing. I really get into my characters' heads and their emotions reflect on me. This has resulted in burnout. That's the other reason I'm here. My Freezoner psychologist girlfriend Sam Coleman (one of two people on whom my stories' heroine is based) thought it would be good therapy. So far it's working. Confession, facing issues not always reflected in feedback ... this is good for my soul.

Again, I can't post a public link to the stories because of board rules. If anybody wants one, though, just PM me. I consider that a violation gray area. Although if the admins want to correct me, I would respect their wishes and actions. This is their site.
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speckledtrout

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Post Tue Jan 13, 2009 10:33 pm

Writing is often the best therapy. Positive narrative helps us to reshape our life experiences into something that taught us a lesson, rather than only hurt us.

But then I bet your psychologist gf knows that ;-)


To be honest I just can't find the idea sexy in the least. I think because I associate Scientology so much with my parents it's just....ew....
mikolot mayim rabim adirim, mishbarai'yam
--Ps. 93
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DRE

OTIII

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Post Wed Jan 14, 2009 2:31 am

To be fair, I don't often put Scientology in sexual context. The closest I've ever gotten is triangle formations and encounters in saunas and it's clear those are dumb jokes nobody but me gets. Instead the religion is used as a barrier the characters must overcome. A stupid barrier, but there nonetheless.

The Scientology is in the stories because it's inescapeable for me. I researched the celebrities about whom I wanted to write on the net and everywhere I went I saw people calling them "cult shills" and things like that. I found that I did not want to see them that way, yet I could no longer see them as just the good-looking actors I had viewed them as before. Somehow I had to reconcile the two. I had to take John Travolta and remake him into an aging hippie who swings in bars and drinks to get over his problems. Said problems include the film he made when he got too sure of himself and his own image that ended up bombing royally (Battlefield Earth), the false rumors of being gay people stick him with, the shadow people hang over his head and won't take down.

I had to cast his wife as someone understanding with her own issues. She soothes John and he soothes her. I had to remake all my other favorite stars in similar ways. The damn tabloids and celebrity hate trolls so twisted my image of the people I loved. Only with my imagination was I able to reconcile it. I could not go and meet them, and explain to them what I was feeling, and reconcile that way my fear they were bad people. I did not want to be a stalker. I had to invent a world where the tabloids and hate were confused lies for sure in order to accept them as that in the real world. These were people I admired, and jerks were making it their business to drag them through the muck. Other jerks were using them to sell harmful products, be they disgusting tabloid stories or false dogmas that lead to abuse stories like you hear about on anti-CoS websites every day. I somehow had to get myself back to loving these people again. :? It was not easy, but I think I did it. I hope so anyway. Nothing wrong with putting the way I got over my feelings out there as fictional stories for people to enjoy.

And no, before you ask, none of these feelings came about as a result of drug use on my part. I have known drugs were bad all my life. The first actress I ever really loved was Rachael Leigh Cook, the girl who showed me putting your brain on drugs makes you smash up your life with a frying pan. When I was a teen I made a promise to Rachael I would never use, and I have kept that promise. Erika Christensen reinforced that promise when I saw her in "Traffic". I have kept my promise to her too. I hope she can understand me having to get over her being a Scientologist the way I have- if she ever hears about it. I'm not about to directly tell her. I'm no John Hinckley and I wouldn't want her to think I am.

No chemical inducement behind these words. They are just the ramblings of a sad emotional lonely man who does not want to feel what people are making him feel. He wants to love and respect, not hate and fear. He wants the bad guys punished also, and the victims saved, but more than anything he wants there to stop being victims and victimizers. He wants to stop seeing his heroes, his friends, and himself like that.
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Anonymous9104

OT8 Class 12

Posts: 418

Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 1:07 pm

Post Sat Jan 17, 2009 4:42 am

Hey duh duh bird regarding you don't think masks and such are polite, you are so... socially inept!!! They wear them because they don't want to be fair gamed... *Next part deleted as personally insulting - Uncle Grundy
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