My Story (part 1) from wog->sci->flag

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Post Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:56 pm

My Story (part 1) from wog->sci->flag

As i have said before in the original wich a few have read and i apologize to whom it concerns for publishing in the non register but as you know i couln't log in before..., i'm a person that sees much details and has a very good memory (well most of the time.. i tend to blank out when i have panic attacks but they are of low gravity and almost never happen.. anyways..) my point is... this story is going to be long and i will publish in parts...

this goes from since i first knew scientology when i was a kid to half the time i was in the cadet org... as soon as it saves at least one person from all i've been through... i will be happy... i'm not looking to have a better or worse story, cause i think everyone has their story and has suffered in their own way... so here it is.

I was born in argentina in the year 1991. I was born a catholic, got my bauthism and stuff. My mother was never the best example of a mother, but it sort of worked out at home, everything was nice. When I was around 2 years old my mom got introduced to dianethics. Guess she was around the city and there was someone givin out panflets like in any normal class 5 org. Anyways, she got really into it and started getting auditing and stuff, and most of all, trying to get my family on the org too. My father didn’t object much, he wasn’t much of a believer at the time and I guess he didn’t care about experiencing other religions as my grandma for example that never liked scientology that much. It wasn’t long before my brother also got to know about it. Comes out that some missionaries from Flag came to do a little talk to the org and he got into it so much that it wasn’t a week before he signed that horrible contract.

He left when I was three, and almost never came back. I lived being a public till I was nine. My family was all scientologists by now and my mother was the treasury sec full time at the org. She left at 6 in the morning and came back around midnight and she got payed real little… like 3 dollars a week or something like that. I would go on Saturdays to the org, would do courses, get auditing and stuff, I always bored myself cause it was no fun for a kid my age to be locked in a course room the whole day on Saturday much of you would agree. When I was 8 my mom wrote me down for the purify (for nonsci people, the purif is also known as the first big step on the bridge. U purify your body thoroughly by having long time sauna sessions, taking vitamins, doing exercise and things like that). My grandma was against it cause as I said, she was the only one intelligent enough to see that there was something fishy about all of it. I didn’t listen, I wanted to do it. Everyone was proud of me, I was the youngest person in the country to start her bridge, the second youngest in Latin America, what else could any kid like me wish for, I was raised to think and do what LRH would approve more of. I got really bad grades in school, was tired all the time and my stomach hurt as well as my head, too many vitamins, too little sleep and barely no sugar or carbohydrates at all… horrible for a kid that only wishes to go to the ice-cream shop or eat chocolates all day.

Some time after I finished the purif, my mother got an award from (I don’t remember the name, but that association that gives out pins and reward for your service or money donations and has conventions at saint hill to present all the awarded…) after she spent a week at saint hill, she went to visit my brother at flag (he was already married to another staff member) and came back home overwhelmed by everything that she saw… she thought the staff were the most privileged on the phase of earth and that flag was paradise. She told me stories of how everyone smiled at you and made you feel like you finally got home. She filled my head with dreams of becoming the best auditor and clearing the planet… gosh it felt like the best dream ever, and nine year old only lives of dreams I guess… I feel so guilty, maybe if I would’ve been a bit wiser I would’ve stayed home and none of this would’ve happened at all, but I just listened to my mom and her fabulous stories… it was like magic thinking about the sea org, and finally seeing my brother… and so I left. I left my family, my friends, my home, and most of all my childhood.

I got to flag, rested at the motels (the last few months that they were EPF dorm rooms), got the tour around the base like any normal new staff member… and after 3 or 4 days I got told that I couldn’t continue on and needed to be in the cadet org. And so my mom took me to the QI. I got my paperwork done and they showed me my new room. 2 bunk beds, equal four beds and only one dresser for each of us and a closet to share. I had to throw away the majority of my toys because there wasn’t much space to put them and there were rules like you could only have two teddy bears and things like that. Plus there was the thing that every week they’d check our rooms, included our drawers and make us empty them if they thought they were too filled up. Anyways the rest of the week there wasn’t that bad, it was a Friday when I got there and the next day there wasn’t much to do cause people had libs and stuff… the rest of us had to work, but as no one could talk with me they put me to work with the only Spanish speaking girl at the QI on that day, we had to white glove clean both of the course rooms.

And so Monday came. Horrible day as I will always remember. Firstly I couldn’t sleep so well because the girls in my room slept with loud radios and as we know, new kids are no opinion worthy so u just gotta go with whatever u see. When I started my school work on basic English learnings no one wanted to help me out. All the Spanish speaking were let’s say “too cool” to work with me (it’s true… in the cadet org at that time seemed to be a rule to love the older cadets that have time there and were even born there, leave the newbies behind, don’t care about them, hit them if u see them around) so I had hard times learning English. I had trouble with my roommates so they changed me to the room next door, there lived a girl my same age that was also new and as messed up as I was. We didn’t understand each other (she was from Hungary), and so it was with understanding anyone around. Our mothers were both on the EPF and it could be weeks and months before we knew about them. I had to put up with two older girls hitting me every once in a while, and the guys making fun of me calling me names and moking me. The cadet coordinator and the rest of the staff telling me I was never good, that I was out ethics and even suppressive (yes it’s true, one day the girl that lived with me got a fever and was sent to the MLO. The coordinator yelled at me for a long time telling me I got her PTS and that I was a suppressive person… a nine year old… really I think I broke the record on suppressive people then didn’t I?)

Months past… people came and went in a period short enough that u didn’t ever remember the faces after a while… all of them went on sudden “LOA’s” and never came back, you couldn’t make any friends, just get to know them while you could. We weren’t aloud to go to the base (otherwise known as downtown were the FH and the rest of the building are for people that are not ex-SO’s), so the relationship with my family was non-existant. I had accidents like falling on an iron nail and poking a hole on my knee with it. Their solution to it was to put a bandage on it and saying the swelling would just go down after a while if I got a simple assist. I also got sick to my stomach cause I wasn’t used to the horrible food they serve there. We SO members weren’t allowed to use medication whatsoever so they just gave me calmag and sent me to bed (calmag is a combination of calcium and magnesium powder that’s supposed to calm u down… I don’t know sometimes it did work so I can’t say it was BS). When my mom finished the EPF she had some trouble with the e-meter checks. She was sent to live at the QI with me till they figured out a program to get the problems solved. I was happy, I finally got time with my mom.

They made her renew the chairs of the QI and that’s about it. For months she wasn’t told anything and she just wasted her time every day doing nothing but those damn chairs. I remember a day she finally got to go to the base to see what was up with the problem. The same day I developed a fever of 104 I think. In normal cases as we know, they’d send u to a hospital right a way. But for me it was some vitamins and bed time. I was found at eleven o’clock at night by my mother. I was talking some nonsense I don’t remember, trembling my self to death and boiling hot. Again, they didn’t do nothing but give me vitamins and a cold compress.

Finnally my mother got her program and was told she could go back home and do it. They told her she couln’t leave me there without a parent cause I was a cadet. Seems u can only stay as a minor if u are an EPF’er, so she had to take me. We didn’t have enough money to return home, so off we left in our journey, to the closest class 5 org we could have that spoke my mother’s lenguaje and had the necessary tech for her handling. Now we headed for Mexico. She got ahead with her handling while I bored my self to death with nothing to do. My dad sent us money all the time cause her auditing and things were really expensive, unfair putting the fact that they were divorced and he had nothing to do in my mom’s business, but I guess they were still somewhat attached, at least I did then, after all they only got divorced because of the SO condition of not letting u marry someone outside of the org.

Sometimes we didn’t have enough money to eat, cause she spent it all on auditing and study, once we were even homeless as we knew no one in that foreign country, Flag wasn’t willing to help as at all until they were sure my mom would be of some use to them after evaluating her condition. We had to walk around the streets asking old ladies if they needed help around the house in exchange of food and a bed, didn’t work out.

We finnaly got out of Mexico 6 months later. My mom got done with the handling and we were returning to Flag. It was around December 2001. Flag wasn’t willing to pay the ticket for her flight because as I said, she wasn’t of any use until her condition was evaluated, they only would pay mine as I could be able to join the staff sooner or later (at least that’s what I understood, it was all really messed up). So we got a loan from my brother and came back, they put me on the EPF once more for around 3 or 4 days, an then again, to the cadet org.

I spent chrismas at the movies like it was the tradition for all staff members, and new years alone cause I wasn’t ready to go to events yet (they said I would get too many MU’s cause of my English). I got on with school, and again with the discrimination from other cadets. That was the time when the suicidal attempts started. I was never good enough for anyone. There was also cadet org execs u see… and for the ones that weren’t on the exec board, well we were as important as Casper the dog or even less (cause Casper was a really beloved dog to all of us. He barked when the buses came back and woke us up so we could try to see our parents avoiding the cameras mission impossible style). I was always doing amends, or getting a low on pay cause of my wanting to leave issues or my enturbulating or my slowing down on my course or other billion things. I had a lot of fights with other cadets and the tention they caused was nerve-wracking. I never got to see my family, my mom lived at the QI but got home around 12 at night and the security would get really upset to see us up that late so I had to hide myself for dear life if a wanted a 5 minute talk with her. They would let cadets sleep in their parent’s rooms often but it was complicated cause u had to get permission from all the room mates in case of the single parents and some of the roommates could get pretty anoying.

I wanted to go to the EPF. I wanted to continue on my journey and be one of those cool white shirted people that seemed so strong and powerfull and did their drills so perfectly (Plus the fact that I would be able to be at the base full time and be closer to my family was tempting). We cadets had to admire them EPF’ers. After all it was our next step and it seemed impossible to reach. The one and only condition then, was to finish your scientology courses (like Delphi Ethics, BSM, the different scientology symbols, etc…), and being an 8th grade reader, test I couln’t pass in English cause I nearly got to 5th or 6th. They were rushing us, mostly the 10 and 11 year olds forward. Their solution to get past the conditions was to translate the vocabulary tests. My mom was encharged of that, and I got a really good reward from it, as I got to have a copy of the test and clear up the words before I took it.

Finally, after my long journey I was on the EPF.

i'll continue when i get off my exams at college :D
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LronIsgonE_Snap

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Post Tue Jun 02, 2009 6:07 pm

Since this story was originally intended for this forum, but posted in the No Registration Required section due to registration problems, I felt it appropriate to copy my comments on this story to here:

ex-cadet. wrote:I got to flag, rested at the motels (the last few months that they were EPF dorm rooms), got the tour around the base like any normal new staff member… and after 3 or 4 days I got told that I couldn’t continue on and needed to be in the cadet org. And so my mom took me to the QI. I got my paperwork done and they showed me my new room. 2 bunk beds, equal four beds and only one dresser for each of us and a closet to share. I had to throw away the majority of my toys because there wasn’t much space to put them and there were rules like you could only have two teddy bears and things like that. Plus there was the thing that every week they’d check our rooms, included our drawers and make us empty them if they thought they were too filled up.


I would hate being forced to throw away things that meant something to me, but I must admit I am a bit of a pack rat. :)


ex-cadet. wrote: I had to put up with two older girls hitting me every once in a while, and the guys making fun of me calling me names and moking me. The cadet coordinator and the rest of the staff telling me I was never good, that I was out ethics and even suppressive (yes it’s true, one day the girl that lived with me got a fever and was sent to the MLO. The coordinator yelled at me for a long time telling me I got her PTS and that I was a suppressive person… a nine year old… really I think I broke the record on suppressive people then didn’t I?)


Although I have read many ex-Scn stories, I am still appalled at the reprehensible behavior of many of the people in the CoS.

Ex-cadet, it appears that you did not let them beat you down too much, or at least you seem to have recovered from that pretty well.
Enjoy your life today,
For time is fleeting.
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ex-cadet

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Post Tue Jun 02, 2009 6:31 pm

I would hate being forced to throw away things that meant something to me, but I must admit I am a bit of a pack rat.


well...I was a nine year old that loved her dolls to death and since i was 3 i had been collecting stuff my family bought me for the different hollidays to fill up my doll house. Actually before i parted from home my mom made me give away a lot of the big toys that couln't be brought to flag like bikes and the toy house i use to spend fun time in and things like that... but i was able to take my before said collection of dolls and things like that... smaller stuff.

When i got to the QI they told me of a rule that only allowed 3 teddy bears maximum so i threw the rest of them away.. and most of them were actually goodbye presents from family and friends but i couln't keep them. Then after a week or so they told me to dekludge cause i had too much so called "junk" so there went my life collection of toys. From then on i had basically no toys through the rest of my child life.

Ex-cadet, it appears that you did not let them beat you down too much, or at least you seem to have recovered from that pretty well.


To the beating part... well i also said something like this in the non register but i'll repeat some.. they would mostly just fool around hit me a few times and make fun of me and walk away laughing... i mentioned a few times that when u are the smaller kid or the new foreigner or some of that sort u are the target to older more teen-like cadets.

But most of them i don't really blame.. i do blame some but most of the cadets including me we let our real selves drift away and become selfless morons that just tried to get the atention and respect from the rest and so for that we actually felt obligated to be mean to the new ones and not hang out with them and stuff like that... till now i don't know how to explain it right...

it was the SO madhouse preassure, mixed with normal highschool idiotic rules of friendly circles, mixed with the fact that there was always the favorites of the coordinators and teachers that had their way with everything most of the time and a whole other stuff.. i'll try and explain it more when i get enough time for the second part... :D
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Post Sun Jun 07, 2009 3:58 am

My parents had a thing about us not having too much MEST I suppose, because they would throw out our toys every now and then. It was apparently at random. We would come home and find half our stuff gone. I got used to it eventually. My biggest problem was with them throwing out my books, or one time when I was 9 when I came home and my doll that I slept with every night was gone. I guess that was a Scientologist thing. "Dekludge dekludge delkludge!!".
Somebody has to speak for these people.... no more running. I aim to misbehave.... If you can't do something smart, do something right. (Serenity)
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Anonymous9104

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Post Sun Jun 07, 2009 2:50 pm

I've read your entire story... and to throw away a doll you slept with every night as a LITTLE girl, and your BOOKS!!!!

I remember something about your mother having a mental problem and it is clear she did. Mental illness should be treated feasibly as possibly. Scientololgy is not a replacement. It is too bad she got mixed up in that and you sufferred as terribly as you did. I get angry when I read stuff like this that is mean to kids....

I read this one story on ESMB about a woman whose husband kept the kids in a divorce, forced, so she rejoined to see them but trying to get them out. One kid was hit and killed by a car, the other was hit but didn't die, and another was partially blinded by hair dye chemicals left out from a sitter.

This and so much other kind of stuff tied to THE CULT is SICKENING... WHO CAN SEPARATE TORTURE AND THIS KIND OF WRONG DOING FROM A CULT ENOUGH TO SAY THE RELIGION IS OK BUT THE ORGANIZATION IS NOT? THIS IS A EFFING CULT... AND PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE ARE AS SCREWED UP AS THE PEOPLE WHO TOOK YOUR DOLLY AWAY AND ALL THE OTHER 1000X MORE HORRIBLE STUFF.

INBREDS.
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ex-cadet

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Post Mon Jun 08, 2009 1:30 am

thanks for the comments! :P

sorry doublevee i know what it feels like old toys that somewhat hold happy memories suddenly get taken away... i myself felt in those days like a dog when u take away it's toy and it looks at u with that face of "what did i ever do to u" and the thing with the books... the confiscated my Harry Potter 5 book cause supposedly it was too high gradient and i wasn't allowed to read it... i managed to anyways but it really bugged me when it happened..

yes... scientologists all have a thing for MEST... all the cadets always had to be dekuldging... every week they'd check our drawers and closets and even there was a giveaway table at the QI so mostly the coordinator would make us put a lot of stuff on that table but all the toys a threw away in that time were put in a pile that was burned... i think but really i don't remember.. i filled a whole trashcan with my stuff... EPF was worse... i had a lot of books i didn't want to put in the closet they had cause it was moisty and already when i was sent to mexico i left stuff there and it got ruined... anyways i sort of had them arranged and sort of hidden in my closet area and one day the EPFer that was to do our laundry and stuff sent a KR saying i had non-tech books and i had to donate them all to the QI.

i remember i did a course that said why that thing with the material stuff but i don't remember what it was... something with the thetan and enturbulation in the embiroment or somewhat like that..

But anyways.. this story is like a 10% bad compared to the other stuff that happened in and after the EPF and i'll write it up as soon as my finals finish (it seems impossible but they'll be over soon) :D

This and so much other kind of stuff tied to THE CULT is SICKENING... WHO CAN SEPARATE TORTURE AND THIS KIND OF WRONG DOING FROM A CULT ENOUGH TO SAY THE RELIGION IS OK BUT THE ORGANIZATION IS NOT? THIS IS A EFFING CULT... AND PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE ARE AS SCREWED UP AS THE PEOPLE WHO TOOK YOUR DOLLY AWAY AND ALL THE OTHER 1000X MORE HORRIBLE STUFF.


It drives them F** mad if u call them something else than a religion... when i got the famous "disconnection call" from my mother and brother me and my dad called scientology a cult and gosh they were lit on fire! but it's true... it is a cult... today i went with my parents to church and the priest explained to me something like the only ones that are to be called religions are the ones that bring the family together... at least it's one of the main conditions so... sci is a cult and a real bad and dangerous one... :x

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