As far as TR 7 goes -- anyone here know who Sakhi Guma is? That GIANT African in CLO? Well I did them with him, as a 5'6, 130 lb, 17-year-old girl... it didn't go well. Did you know that Leb Hall has a cement floor under that thin grey carpet? ouch.
Once I was over 1 1/2 hours into a 2 hour confront and the Supe came over and told us "course time is over go to dinner". I ignored him for several repetitions hoping he'd get the hint, but eventually my twin broke. I almost cried, I chewed him out in front of everyone (poor 50 year old dude, getting yelled at by a 17 year old HCO kid).
I think being made to go through TRs, especially upper indocs, really seals the deal on whether Scientology is brainwashing or not. I described the procedures to my husband and he got really pissed. He says that that's exactly how people have been brainwashed by other groups (he's into history and psychology so I believe him). I haven't wanted to do any research on the subject myself. It's one of the few things that really upsets me still. I mean it really makes me nauseus (sp?) and boils my blood. I'd rather sit and think about being punched in the face and belt-whipped by my dad than remember getting the objectives. Maybe I'm just twisted up and backward, or something, the level of my reaction seems not to make sense.
I did eventually give up. It took years of stopping and going back, but eventually I just didn't care anymore. I turned into a robot and retreated into my own little shell, just like I did at home when mom and/or dad was beating the shit out of me. They said I EPd.
AFter I left the SO they told me my Objectives were still un-flat and I had to come back and re-do them. This was about 12 years after finishing them. I said absolutely not no way in h**l will I ever do that again, EVER. Mom says that proves that I need to. All my problems will be solved!!
All my experience with Scientology and having Scilon parents has resulted in the
exact opposite of what Scientology advertises itself to create: a person who is NEVER in PT, doesn't dare think for themself at all, and is a prisoner in every way but wearing physical shackles (except when I actually was locked in occasionally). Right there is proof that they LIE. (Except they say that it's just me, not them. I'm No Case Gain. It works for everyone else!)
Wow, I'm really getting angry.
![Sad :(](./images/smilies/icon_sad.gif)
I think I'd better leave this thread now.
Somebody has to speak for these people.... no more running. I aim to misbehave.... If you can't do something smart, do something right. (Serenity)