They have been being stupid and annoying but are somehow managing to achieve the opposite of what they intended. The stupidity of their machinations never ceases to amaze me.
OSA, did you understand that sentence? I called you dumb. Really, you could have gotten what you wanted with a phone call and some direct communication and letting people do what they naturally wanted, but instead you had to be all super-spy retarded and try to manipulate people from behind the scenes. Now I'm just more pissed off and have less reason to give a damn about you. D'oh!
You guys are like my three-year-old covered in cookie crumbs and holding the wrapper and saying "no mommy I didn't take a cookie". Seriously. Did you even brief your people? Tell them I used to be in HCO? Did you think I got a sudden case of amnesia and forgot how dept 3 works?
I thought LRH was a proponent of communication... what did he call it... "the universal solvent" wasn't it? Big time flunk on you. You need to M4 HCOB Disconnection, do a clay demo of the paragraph where he talks about it being OVERUSED and causing more problems than it solves, and try again. Oh wait, I'm sorry, are you pretending that HCOB doesn't exist? Because I can get you a copy if you haven't read it. What's that you say, it's not disconnection, it's just forbidding someone to talk to another person? That's not the same at all.... Fascist regimes have a long history of calling something by a different name and actually thinking that fools the rest of the world. Maybe you need a history lesson.
Although perhaps I should be thanking you, because when you talk someone I care about into being your puppet, that lets me know they are not a real friend of mine. I might still love them, and hey I might have even been manipulated by my affection to some degree, but you took that opportunity right out of my hands didn't you? It's not my fault if someone decides to be your puppet and I refuse to feel guilty about it.
Here's an idea for you: why don't you give ME a call or send ME a letter instead of running around behind my back and trying to use my so-called-friends against me. Or better yet we can meet face to face and talk... just make sure you bring your lawyer because mine will be there.
BTW, you other people, if you ever read this, you need to know a few things:
I was never anything but honest with you, the church, and the rest of the world. Maybe you should ask yourself why this organization wants me to lie. Yes, that's what this situation is. Shut up and lie and pretend to be a fan of Scientology or speak the truth and say "I'm not pleased with these actions or this group of people". One of you once said I made it look easy to throw away my own family. (You then turned around and threw me away. Hmm.) You could not be more wrong -- it was hard, so incredibly hard. Maybe you should ask yourself "If it's so hard and has so many bad repercussions, WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?" and when you realize that you don't know, maybe you should ask ME. I would be happy to lay it all out for you. Every in choice I have ever made, and with everything I have ever said, I have stood on my integrity. I am not ashamed. I can understand how none of this makes sense to you, but it never will if you won't listen to the answer.
I am hurt and insulted by the fact that you (ALL of you) have never ONCE asked me if anything OSA/RTC said was true, you have never ONCE come to me and said "What's this all about?" Instead you acted like a judge that makes a decision without hearing both sides of the story. That's pretty heartless as well as, yes I'm saying it, stupid. How is that making up your own mind? Maybe things could have turned out differently, if you had been willing to actually communicate with me. I'm not talking about throwing words in my direction and hoping they get the result you want, I'm talking about actually speaking truthfully and LISTENING to the other person. Not one of you has spoken to me face-to-face, not one of you has talked to me without a handler running the conversation, without being able to just hang up if I say something you don't like. What are you so afraid of? What am I going to BITE? Or worse yet, maybe I'll make sense to you and you'll get contaminated....
Am I angry? Yes. Did you hurt my feelings? Absolutely. But I am still willing to talk to you any time. This cutting of our ties is YOUR DECISION not mine and continues to be done by YOU. I am still here. You know where I live. You know my phone number. You can email or call or show up at my door any time. This has always been the case and always will be. If you want things to change it's up to you.
I'd imagine it hurt your feelings when I called you a puppet. But that's what you are being. If you want to stop, I'll take it back, but until then that term still applies to you.
If you are mad that I am talking to/about you in a public forum, you haven't given me any other choice. You asked me not to talk here until we had worked things out, and I haven't, but then you disconnected from me. I've been waiting politely and not doing certain things because I hoped you might change your mind and I didn't want to be rude. I'm still not saying stuff about you personally -- yet -- but it's becoming apparent that there is no point. If you won't bother to be anything but extraordinarily mean and rude to me, why should I accede to your wishes? I was willing to work with you but then you disappeared.
Oh and one last thing "Kane" -- this has NOTHING to do with that one particular person that we were talking about, or their opponent. If you recall, I left Scientology a LONG time before that whole situation came about. So it should be obvious that my choices had nothing to do with that guy. I'm sorry for what happened to you with regards to him, but that subject was really just a tangent. Also, I'm sorry for the situation you have been put in for the last year and a half, truly, but it was neither my intention nor caused by me. I just hope that that one particular person who could fix the situation, does.
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