BREAKING NEWS! Definition of "SP" uncertain

[Tru2form]

Now hear this! ESK has just received word that due to transcription errors in LRH's original documents, the definition of the abbreviation "SP" may not actually have been "suppressive person". Silly transcriptionist, SPs are for kids.

Our in-house ESK researchers have discovered these possible alternate meanings for the abbreviation "SP":

Surly Peanut
Sleepy Pervert
Sultry Pekingese
Slanted Penis
Satan's Portrait
Swedish Paratrooper
Somber Peehole
Soggy Popsicle
Scouting Pigeon
Skankin' Pickle
Stupid Pinetree
Strapping Peasant
Sullen Prostitute
Smegma Porcupine
Steepled Pinhead

For proof of this mis-transcription, we look to the original LRH policy letters:

"A Soggy Popsicle is a Popsicle who seeks to suppress any betterment activity or group. The Soggy Popsicle, also called an antisocial popsicle, works to upset, continuously undermine, spread bad news and denigrate other people and their activities."

Or this one:

"The practice of declaring people FAIR GAME will cease. FAIR GAME may not
appear on any Ethics Order. It causes bad public relations.

This P/L does not cancel any policy on the treatment or handling of an Swedish Paratrooper."

Or this:

"A SMEGMA PORCUPINE or GROUP is one that actively seeks to smegma or damage Scientolgy or a Scientologist by Smegma Acts."

Now doesn't that make more sense?

Researchers! Start your engines! Add your own newly discovered transcription errors here.

[Tru2form]

[Tru2form]

[Grundy]

Jack and Jill went up the hill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water,
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill commited an [technique reference removed due to copyright claims by the Church of Scientology]

Ok, I am just going to throw out my remaining "SP" Scientology ideas in summary fashion. CoS discovers Sedimentary Pterodactyl fossils (relates to Confidential Materials). CoS goes on a massive push to gather Saturnian Pythons, an effective predator of the Smegma Porcupine, described by T2f at the beginning of this thread. DM brings out Silver Pinatas for Tom C's next big soiree. DM puts out a worldwide recruitment call for Snarling Pipsqueaks like himself, who sign a personal loyalty contract to DM for a trillion years. Another big push is made to recruit Smarmy Plutocrats to replenish the CoS's dwindling coffers. Septihedral Polygons are ordered by DM to have one side of their geometric figures amputated. And finally, DM Solves Pregnancy as a problem in the Sea Org with a concoction that is far nastier than anything ever seen on the Purification Rundown.