You are a silly little girl, Kendra. You were always precocious and articulate but
inherently you're either naive in the extreme or covertly destructive. I'm not sure
which. Your parents are two of the nicest, most honorable, loving, responsible
people I've ever met. I'd trust them with the lives of my children but you
apparently won't trust them in any way. In the end, none of this would have
happened if you had not actively attacked the church. You have to know that.
simply asked you to stop allying yourself with scumbags whose entire pathetic lives
are dedicated to trolling the internet and "exposing" anyone who's ever done a
Scientology course. This is the thing: you chose them, the fucked up assholes, over
us. Not matter what your qualms with the way Scientology is run, that should never
be the choice. I'm sorry, but never. I'm not in the SO, I'm not on staff and I
have no intention of signing up. I have barely been on course for the past few
years as life's
gotten busy and, frankly, I can't always be bothered driving to the org on weekends.
All you had to do was walk away and let it be, but you couldn't even do that. Why?
Here's a scenario for you to consider: the being must always be right. Do you get
that in its complex dimensions? What have all of your actions added up to? Making
you right and, by consequence, others wrong (except, of course, for those who agreed
with you). You break into someone's briefcase to look at the OTIII materials -
which, by the way, don't mean much without OT I and II - and you are "right" to do
Only you are not, of course, but you have to make yourself right, so you set
about doing it, which in the end isn't that difficult for an enterprising person.
I'm not going to sugar coat this for you, Kendra. Your case - and I'll leave the
description at that - is running your show, girlfriend. You have no fucking idea
what the upper levels are about. Maybe one in a million might be strong enough to
overcome the OT case by themselves. I doubt the odds are even that good. The point
is to key people out enough so they can even begin to look at the case, much less
think of resolving it. If nothing else, you should know that Scientology achieves
The key to all of this, Kendra, is to look at where your impulses come from.
Sit above the conflicting thoughts and see things for what they actually are and
stop pretending - to yourself, chiefly - that you've found any real peace, because I
know you haven't.
Do you know why I know? Because I know that the "being always
knows". I told your mother this years ago, before I knew how fucked up this thing
would get with you. The being, that is YOU, Kendra, knows what is true. However, you
must re-establish control of your life. The first step is to acknowledge that you
may have been wrong. Go from there. Good luck.