Wed Jan 07, 2015 9:15 pm
Re: scientology-> SO-> suicide
Just when things go a bit better, like the last few months, something new always flies in. Like today, when my dad finally decided to disconnect from me.
I am actually suprised that this didn't happen earlier. I sort of had it coming with my blog, but I started that way back, and hasn't even been active on it since about 2011. About 2 years ago the site that was hosting my blog shut down, and I moved it to different blog site, but I wouldn't count that as "activity".
I think I mentioned that my dad is severly ill, his joints are calcified and inflamed, he has constant fevers, and now decided to get auditing on it, because he thinks he is going to die in 6 months if he doesn't get auditing. They probably sent him to ethics for PTS handling and I came up and the condition was that I shut down the blog. Well the blog is my coping mechanism (also these forums), so I said no... The other option was to disconnect from me. Not like our current relationship was much different from that, but at least there was sort of like a hope. But now that's gone too. I sort of stirs and calms me at the same time. I don't have to worry or feel guilty about not visiting him. I don't have to make small talk when we do meet at some family event like graduation. We don't have to play this stand still where he lets me do what I want and I let him do what he wants. To tell you the truth I would rather not let him... I would wather want to vent all this frustration I have about his choice of always putting scientology before his children. To tell him off for being so stupid not seeing what scientology does to people and families when it's right in front of him! His own family and daughter is one of the greatest examples of how scientology can fuck up your life, and yet... I know brain-washing... But it is still infuriating. When he told me this over the phone I wanted to be the better person and told him if he ever should decide to talk to me again my doors are open. I felt like I had to say it, you know... just in case he really is going to die in 6 months. My only wish is that he sees what he has done before dies, but I really don't see that happening.
I am actually suprised that this didn't happen earlier. I sort of had it coming with my blog, but I started that way back, and hasn't even been active on it since about 2011. About 2 years ago the site that was hosting my blog shut down, and I moved it to different blog site, but I wouldn't count that as "activity".
I think I mentioned that my dad is severly ill, his joints are calcified and inflamed, he has constant fevers, and now decided to get auditing on it, because he thinks he is going to die in 6 months if he doesn't get auditing. They probably sent him to ethics for PTS handling and I came up and the condition was that I shut down the blog. Well the blog is my coping mechanism (also these forums), so I said no... The other option was to disconnect from me. Not like our current relationship was much different from that, but at least there was sort of like a hope. But now that's gone too. I sort of stirs and calms me at the same time. I don't have to worry or feel guilty about not visiting him. I don't have to make small talk when we do meet at some family event like graduation. We don't have to play this stand still where he lets me do what I want and I let him do what he wants. To tell you the truth I would rather not let him... I would wather want to vent all this frustration I have about his choice of always putting scientology before his children. To tell him off for being so stupid not seeing what scientology does to people and families when it's right in front of him! His own family and daughter is one of the greatest examples of how scientology can fuck up your life, and yet... I know brain-washing... But it is still infuriating. When he told me this over the phone I wanted to be the better person and told him if he ever should decide to talk to me again my doors are open. I felt like I had to say it, you know... just in case he really is going to die in 6 months. My only wish is that he sees what he has done before dies, but I really don't see that happening.
just when you thought it's all wrong it proved otherwise
