Thank- you Double vv,
I can't even begin to say how sorry i am about your own story. Words fail me, it makes what i have to say so pathetic and not worth saying, but on the other hand for me it was and at times still is very painful.
Pick up the cans please - This is the Session.
(this is a feeble attempt at humour in what has been a bad afternoon)
Some times i'm doing just fine, sometimes i'm doing great, really well and then something happens or i see or read something and my head starts reeling and i leave the here and now and find myself transported back in time.Its' always the same god damned era, 67-69. I know not all of the days in this period of my life were awful, but unfortunately too many of them were.
Today i read this article, Scientology:A dangerous cult reaches dangerously into the mind (Nov 1968) by Alan Levy
I have read this before, but i have not seen the magazine before complete with pictures, iv'e even seen some of the pictures before,but not the one of the crew on the deck. I recognize a few of the people though only remember a couple of names.But it wasn't so much the people as the deck that triggered my reeling head, and a couple of old friends and John Mac.
John McMasters, who was such a nice, kind man.
I'll never forget the day after he was thrown overboard, leaning on the side of the rail with his arm in a sling because his arm was broken, hitting the side of the ship on the way down. A group of us were sitting on those benches, chatting and eating water melon. Relatively happy, until John started ranting on about Hubbard. I don't remember exactly what he said, but quite rightly so he was angry. He said something to the effect of, we were all mad to put up with the things that went on, and that we would all learn the hard way, one day you'll see.
Every one was deathly silent. No words of comfort for John. I seem to recall after this had gone on for some time someone did tell him to calm down. Calm down? He'd been chucked overboard and broken his arm for crying out loud, he'd struggled to get back to the ship and it seemed nobody cared.
I'm sure people did care, silently to them selves, i did, but no one could do anything about it because they would have been out ethics.OUT bloody ethics for caring.Then i remembered the account i read about John Mac, i can't find it right now, but that got me thinking of my Dad again.
And i always end up at the same place, in the fields surrounding Abellund.
Calling for my Dad, crying and getting louder and louder. Daddddddddeeee, Dadddddddeeee and i cannot believe he has gone without me. I slumped beside the side of a tree and sobbed until it was almost dark and i could sob no more, and i repeated this for days. Then gave up.
I know i am repeating myself now, i do not want pity, i do not want people being sorry for me, but sometimes this still hurts as badly all these years later, as it did when it happened.
And then i thought of Bea, Anthony and the child i saw in the chain locker and thought if i can still sometimes feel this bad, what the hell must that child have gone through and might still be feeling on the days when something triggers a memory off.
The main trigger today that got my back up was Pat Harney, her and her "The Church has no policy of Disconnecting members from their family, as Anonymous is plainly aware." Harney said"We believe family is the building blocks of society".
She also said "the latest protest twists the beliefs of Scientologists.
With regards Anonymous protests "Anonymous is a terrorist group that has harassed church members and staff daily with threatening phone calls".
" We have been enduring this for three months now" Harney said.
To that i say:
I'll be there next month and the month after that and.............for all the families that were Disconnected and Fair Gamed and / or harmed, especially the children.
So this afternoon hasn't been a good one, but tomorrow is another day. I know children are harmed, uncared for, suffer great hardships the world over, through no fault of their own and not just Scientology kids and i really feel for their plight, but i choose to protest Scientology because i am an Exscientology kid and in the words of someone who knows how to get to the heart of the matter "If not you, Who?" That got me thinking.
Any way sorry if i'm on a rant, sorry its long.Some days i can laugh at Scientology and find things that are humorous and other days, well, nothing is very funny at all.
the man who"wanted" to rule the world was a science fiction writer, who lived out his fantasies in real life.Some body some day will say this is illegal. It won't come soon enough.