Thu Jan 03, 2013 10:25 am by dolphinlover
Continued from above:
They did not question me and gave me the cash. Another day I walked to a pay phone on my personal hygiene time, and made a collect call to an Aunt not in the church, who lived in another state. Without telling her where I was, I merely said I really wanted to visit her for a few days. She was thrilled to have me visit and asked when I was coming. (She only saw me at holidays during my childhood) I told her I was working and needed to save up for a greyhound bus ticket and asked if I could call her again in a few days and she agreed.
Early one morning I got up and took a small travel case that I had packed a couple days before and I left for the bus station across town. I was so scared the whole time that someone had seen me, or that they were going to find me again. I got on the greyhound bus and rode for several days to my aunt�s house in another state. I arrived a few days after my 18th birthday. I was nervous and upset and told her not to tell anyone that I had been to visit her because I might get into trouble when I went back home.
She said she understood that the church did not want me to contact or visit non-church members and promised not to tell anyone that she had talked to me or seen me. (I did not tell her that I was not going back home) I stayed with her for a couple weeks. She had bookcases full of books on all sorts of subjects and I began to realize how closed off from the world I had been in the scientology community.
Having a taste of freedom, I knew I could not go back yet. Once I had rested for several days, had my fill of good food, and gone shopping for some new clothes and a newer travel case, I said goodbye and got on another bus.
Finally I knew I needed to leave for a while to get my head together, I didn�t know where to go, or how I could do it, but I knew I had to find a way out.
Somehow I went back again and stayed in the church until I was 19. Even after I moved in with my Grandparents, I still wanted to be a member of the church. Scientology was all I knew about the world and I still believed as a group we could help people and clear the planet. I truly thought I was a messed up in the head and may as well just work for the church and do what I was told.
{I found out later my Grandparents knew I was somewhere at the scientology complex in LA and they began driving to the org every few days, looking for me, watching from a safe distance to try and see me.} Security was hardly around in those days and many people were always walking around, or hanging out and most buildings were open and people could walk in anytime.
I was doing lower conditions at the PAC complex working outside pulling weeds when I saw my grandparents car. I wanted to run over to them. A group of other young members were taking a break from cleaning. I told one of them, that my family members were onlines at FLAG and only in LA for a short time and I needed to talk to them briefly. The supervisor agreed and I crossed the street and told my grandma that I was okay. I expalined that I needed to stay at the org for a few more days and then I could visit them. They drove off and I went back to pulling weeds and cleaning with the other teens. Many years later I learned that my Grandparents had really wanted to grab me and drive away. (but they knew we had other family in the church who would come to their house and bring me back to the church for processing)
The summer when I was 18 1/2 years old, I was crossing the country on a bus. I had an army surplus duffle bag, combat boots and short hair. I chain smoked at the bus breaktimes and no one knew where I was.
I felt free and terrified at the same time. A few days into my bus trip I called my Grandmother from a payphone to tell her I was okay, but I did not tell her where I was.
Then one day when I called Grandma and told her the truth, that I was running from the church and needed to stay out of the los angeles area for at least a couple years. She told me of a relative who lived on the East Coast who wanted to see me if I could manage the plane fare from wherever I was.
I asked for the phone number and called my great aunt who said she could pay my plane fare if I told her where I was. Still suspecting that somehow it might be a trap to find out where I was, I arranged for her to wire some money.
Before I got my plane ticket, I was still terrified of the church finding me. I went to the library and looked up the city directory where my aunt lived to find out if they had a Cof S Org or Mission established there. Fortune was with me and there was nothing listed. Just to be sure, I asked the librarian for help and she made a couple of reference inquires and calls and verified that there was nothing listed for scientology or Dianetics in my destination city or in neighboring cities.
Then I bought my plane ticket and began a new life. In the Fall when I was nearly 20 years old I was living with my Aunt on the east coast. She was my birth Father�s Sister and her husband, my Uncle Bobby. They had no love for the church and my aunt still felt the church had killed my Dad and ripped our whole family apart. They wanted me to get an education, but none of us knew exactly how much schooling I had missed.
A local Women�s College gave me several tests and the Administration said they would take a chance on my potential. When my Mom finally found out I was going to college, she kept telling everyone how smart I was since I was awarded a partial scholarship and accepeted into a private women�s college.
The College Administration placed me in a remedial summer program during the three months before official semester college classes. How does one make up for six years of education during one summer?
Needless to say everything at college was very hard and I finally dropped out and came back to california. I lived with my Grandparents and went to a local junior college.
Ever since I left the church I don�t speak to my one Uncle (my father�s brother) who is still in the church. He and his new wife disconnected from me when I was about 22years old. He began by telling me what a horrible person I was because I was walking away from the church, and told me that my Father would have been so disappointed if he knew the life I was choosing.
My Stepdad died a few years ago and we never had much contact after I left scientology. Attending his memorial service was extremely painful. Especially because my Mom does not believe I was abused or mistreated in any way as a child.
My Mom insists to this day, that I had a good upbringing in the Church.
My life has been a struggle trying to adjust to the world on the outside of the church and to put the pieces together to understand my childhood and my family. I�ve been through, emotional breakdowns, suicide attemps, hospitalized for psych reasons and medical reasons on several occasions. I�ve been through alcoholic rehabilitation, and survived a major rear end car accident.
Today I am 37 and struggling to get a college degree.
Amy S. ALK greater so cal area
My way of joking is to tell the truth; it's the funniest joke in the world.