My story about Scientology ex SO - ex FSO from Mr Tampa

I was born in Hungary My mom was raising me and my 3 siblings alone, we were never rich, but what we missed in wealth we made up with devotion and love for ech other. When I got 15 I lost my mom, one of my sister got so much schocked from the incredible loss that she got epilespy, and that was the time I turned to Scientology. I was looking for answer how could I help to my little sister, what could have I done to my mom if I had the technology? I got involved in Scientology at the age of 16. I was fascinated by its study tech and wanted to know everything - so I became a course supervisor at the age of 16(this is like a teacher or instructor position). I played very important role in the establishment of 3 scientology missions and I was well known in the church ( in my country) as a good instructor. When I got 20 a guy came from FSO and told me I really should join the Sea Org. He lied me a lot!!!!!!!!!!! He told me I would be able to visit my family a lot, the pay is good and most of the SO members get a car, he told me I would be a SO member in FSo but a bit later I could come back to work for the local OTL(local small sea org base) - all these were lies. Your calls to your family are monitorod by someone else (MAA) = so someone else listens to it to make sure you do not go PTS (this is the case in the FSO). I got vacation once after 10 yr and only for a week!!! you get paid 0-46$ a week(depending on your ethics condition), you get the worst medical treatment - once I almost lost my hearing due to being sent too late to see a doctor, but my hearing recovered by now. Once I was really sick, they delayed with weeks to get me the medication and I passed out during staff meeting. If you get a flu and you're sick they make you to do hard physical work instead of rest.

Anyway I loved most of the guys still - these pople wanted good for the rest and I was trying to do my best in course supervision (instruction)... A time came when everything went crazy. They decided to run the SO bases as navy camps and they were doing real boot camps at the base (I have seen one of my junior who got kicked and slapped in his face and got called "motherfucker" in the church during this boot camp), I was getting 3-4 hrs sleeps a day, half a pay because we were unable to recruit new personnel, I was assigned 29 programs so I did not even know which one to run in the course room, looked like everyone felt they were my seniors - for me in the course room I felt everyone should be a student, not an officer, but I got ordered so many times to drop this student - care onlyabout these two senior executives, etc, slowly I started to get disappointed the way the Sea Org was run. One more thing if you come from a foreign country the first thing they do when you arrive they will take your passport away so you won't be able to blow from the org. An other thing you might or might not be able to get a green card - if not you might get forced into a marriage to stay in the country (I have seen the cases of 50 individuals on this!!!! ) They won't let you to leave - I have seen people on leaving line sometimes for 2 yrs before they were let to leave. I have seen SP declearations 2-3 times a week of very well known scientologists. My ideal Debbie Cook Captain FSO blew from church too with her husband! The food, the pay, you clothing is terrible, you might sleep in a room with 5 other people and if you added up with the other room you might have 10 people for one bathroom. You get mistreated many times - you did good on the week but you made someone pissed off - you might winding up washing dishes 'till 4 AM and have to wake up at 6:00 AM. You have a little chance (close to zero) to become Class XII or get auditing, because most of the times even the higest level execs don't get auditing. Anyway, I came back from vacation - with two passport (one expired and a n ew one) and when they asked me to hand it over I gave them the expired one (in the OSA there was no Hungarian staff, they could not read my passport), and I hid the other one. I started hiding stuff, bringing over clothes, etc to the training room and hiding them over a ciling tile in a bag, and I bought a luggage, slowly i was getting enough stuff to be able to blow - 3 months hiding and preparing (I did not want to go to ethics room and wait there for yrs like others to leave). I saved every penny and I got 500 $ at the end. In breaktime when I said I would go to Walgreens for medicine I got papers and I kept searching for cheap apartments and job and was making phone calls from a nearby post office (in SO uniform !! ). then came my prison break style escape. I hit the circuitbreaker breakers of the building and I knew all of the cameras of the buidling would be down and made a run from the back door to the bus station. I took the first incoming bus. Do not take taxi cab! many drivers are scientologist in Clearwater and they might take you back to the church and you might get sentenced to RPF! Do take the bus! I wound up in Largo, from there I took a bus to Tampa. Usualy for two weeks after a SO members blows disguised SO members are hiding in Tampa Airport trying to catchhim/her (I knew most of the staff really well, I knew most of the caught cases really well). So I was hiding in a cheap place, got a temporary job and applied for the army. Due to a previous injury in the SO I failed on the military entrance, but I gained a lot time during the application process, and they gave up on finding me - I got back to Tampa, got a cheap place again, started a temporary job, then better job, then a better one, then a better one... I will add I also lived in Dalton Gerogia as a Truck driver before I moved back here to Florida. Now I live here nearby, decleared, but indepenendent and free. I work as a chemistrist and searching for answers - why did this happen?

Thanks for the story Attila, it's really weird that though we knew eachother at Flag no one would think that other has problems. SO just can't trust eachother, cause you never know who tells in on you at the MAA. So you just don't talk to anyone about these. So many people in one place and all are alone basicly. The most distinctive felling about my 3 years there is feeling very alone and lost. And I think this is key reason this system of the SO doesn't work, that's why they are hunting down people who could pose threat, because they simply don't trust anyone, and in there no one can. It's a military like organisation set up but the key points why it doesn't work, is that in the military you trust your comrades and depend on them, here you absolutly cannot do that cause you get stabbed in the back, the other one is that in the military after a hard battle or training the soldiers ALWAYS get free time and oppurtunities to have fun, it's absolutly essential for people to able to enjoy themselves, if it's not provided, or not frequently enough, than the work morale of the people drops and just simply can not preform at such a high level. It's not their fault, it's just how we humans are. So yes the SO is a very lonely place, and the world could be sometimes too , but I hope now that you found this site you are not that lonely anymore.

Yes, you are right. Living in fear - if you have a different opinion and someone snitches on you and then you will be in huge trouble. I remember when I was a Com Ev (like a judge inside of the church) president and I could not find anything wrong on the guy who was under trial. The whole department got ordered by the Justice Chief to write up knowledge report on the guy (even about years back happened accidents) and I got threatened to get a Com Ev (trial) myself if I didn't give him a harsh sentence.
I joined this thing to make people to be happy and not to make them suffer. I am out.
I was in Scientology since I was 15. I was told that scientologist are the most intelligent people on Earth and that non-scientologist are dagerous people, you can not rely on them. It is not true.
I feel happier today by accomplishing a lot, being an active member of my community than I was when in the SO.

Mrtampa, I am very glad that your escape was successful.

There is a well-known Steve McQueen movie called The Great Escape. As an homage to the name of this web site, we could call your story The Great ESKape.

Since education and career can be major issues for some ex-sci kids, could you expand a bit on your chemistry education? Did you get a college degree? Was your education mostly in Hungary before the SO, or in the US afterwards?

I'm glad you got out, but reading your story there are some things I really do need to point out.

I read so many posts from people talking about how they got away and writing as if the only reason they were able to was because they didn't encounter any cult operatives and the cult eventually gave up trying to find them.

That kind of mentality is just plain wrong.

Your freedom is not subject to the approval of the cult. You are not free only when they give up on trying to re-enslave you. You are free period and can only be enslaved to the degree to which you believe yourself to be a slave. You are not a criminal. You are not a fugitive. You are not their property.





There is of course the practical matter of getting out of and away from buildings and areas that the cult controls (taking the bus is a good idea), but once you are out and away, the only power that the cult has to make you do what they want is the power that you give them.

Disguised scilons waiting in the airport to catch people is amusing. What exactly are they going to do to someone? Threaten them with expulsion from the cult that the person has already left?

I'll admit that I never had to deal with any of that crap, but I almost wish I had.

So if anyone reading this is still stuck in the cult but wants to leave, the first step is taking the power that you have given them back for yourself. Take that power back. It is YOURS, it does not belong to them.

When you are ready to leave, act quickly and act boldly, and don't be intimidated by anyone who tries to make you return.

Should you encounter someone sent to retrieve you, tell them to go fuck their mother and point out that you've already had that dubious pleasure yourself and can show them the ropes if they need instruction in that area. Don't listen to anything that they have to say or respond to it, just keep telling them to go shag their momma, or something else equally shocking and offensive. Say it louder each time. You should also point out that the person is a scilon. Point your finger at them and say "This person is a Scientologist!" The public HATES the scilons, especially in places where they have operations (CA and FL).

The reasons for doing this are three-fold. First, you are refusing to engage them, which means they can't push your buttons. Second, they won't be able to deal with your behaviour towards them very well, and you will be pushing their buttons. Third, the noise and mentions of the cult will attract the attention of other people, and the scilon will make a hasty retreat, lest they be found culpable for a "PR flap."

Be sure that you always carry pepper spray with you, in case you encounter one in a situation where you are alone. If they start something, instruct them on the error of their ways.

But most of all remember that you are not their property. You don't have to do what they say. You do not have to go with them. You are not subject to their "ethics." Don't let them trick you into believing otherwise.

This is all nice and well said, but when you leave them and you are alone, and then find you they can shove you in the car and lock you up in a MAA interiew room for days... and after that have you under 24 hour watch and then you will never have another chance to leave unless you go through the leaving process which could last 6 months or more! That's what we were afraid of... not talk... of course if we left already then they can't talk us into going back!

What you just described is known as KIDNAPPING. I mention that not because I think it is beyond the depravity of the cult, I know it is not, but to point out the seriousness of the crime they are committing by attempting to abduct someone who has left.

This is also where the pepper spray comes in, as well as anything else you can legally carry with which to defend yourself.

Be wary of course, but don't act like you are powerless. They can't "shove you in the car and lock you up" unless you LET THEM.

You do not have to play according to their rules.

If someone is trying to abduct you, FIGHT BACK. Go for their fucking eyes. Kick, punch, bite and scream. Fight as if your life depended on it. Don't tell me you're not capable of defending yourself. 4.5 billion years of tooth and claw evolution says otherwise. You are here because your forbearers did defend themselves, and more than a few of them were the aggressors. It's in your blood, whether you realize it or not.

Any keys that you have should be place between the fingers with the sharp ends pointing out. If someone tries to grab you, punch them as hard as you can in the gut as many times as you can. Another good place to aim for is the throat region.

If you don't have keys, carry a pen or pencil with you, once again with the sharp end stuck between your fingers. Aim for the gut or the throat.

But most of all, get the fuck out of town. Don't wait around for them to "find you."

I hate to sound like a scilon regurgitating cult-speak, but DON'T BE A VICTIM.

BE A SURVIVOR.

That being said, in all fairness just about everyone here IS a survivor and HAS escaped the cult.

I was lucky in that I wasn't living in a prison and I didn't have goons looking to nab me when I left.

It is easy to say "fight back" when you're not the one doing the fighting.

But even so, I stand by what I have written, much of which is intended not for those who have already escaped but those who are still inside in the hope that it will help them when their time comes to make a break for it.

Once again, you say that they get "caught" in such a way that it sounds like the cult thugs have some sort of power or authority. They do not. They are not the police. The person who has left is not a fugitive from the law.

The only power that cult thugs have over someone is the power that person gives them.

If some homeless bum started trying to order you around, would you listen? Of course not, because you would not give that bum any power, you would not confer upon them any authority over you. So why should you give power and authority to someone who is an even bigger failure? Who is even more wretched and diseased than that bum is?

Now people will say that I just don't understand, but I do. The notion that those cretins have authority is an hallucination. It is all in your mind. They have no power, no authority, and any attempt on their part to force you to do anything is a violation of your rights.

Kidnapping is a crime, the penalty for which was DEATH not so long ago.

$cientology is a trap, but it is one that can only continue to hold those who continue to believe in it.

There are no chains but those which you place upon yourself.

What gets me is not the fact that the cult does these things, but the ATTITUDE that I see in response. Instead of righteous anger and determination I see hopelessness and apathy.

I agree wholeheartedly that leaving the cult is hard when it is all that you've ever known. But without the courage to leave, to stand up, put on your boots, and start walking, nothing will ever change.

There will always be someone out there who is looking to make you their bitch. $cientology is hardly unique. It is up to you to decide whether they will succeed or not. If you choose to be helpless, then that is what you will be.

The cult enslaves people and the chains that it uses are not made of iron but of FEAR.

As far as the idea that you have no options, no recourse, that is not true. If you don't feel comfortable going to the police, call child protective services. Protecting kids from this kind of abuse is what they do for a living. Cooperate with them in any way you can, but make it absolutely clear that you REFUSE to return to the cult.

As far as your family goes, all I can say is that loving them does not mean you have to enter into a suicide pact with them; and that is what being in the cult is, slow-motion suicide. Like I said before, if they are willing to disown you just because someone tells them to, then whatever relationship you once had with them has already been destroyed. You don't have to stop loving them, but you CANNOT let that love be used by others to hurt you. Your leaving will also make it that much easier for your loved ones to find the courage and gumption to leave also.

You may not like what I have to say here, but you and I know that it is largely because what I am saying is true. You regret that the things I'm saying, so obvious to you now as an adult, were unknown and unrealized to you back then. Don't feel bad. Finding the courage to fight for liberty is hard. You are here now and not in the cult is because you eventually found that courage. Every day of your life that you live free from that damned cult is a day to be cherished and celebrated.

Don't be so sure that no one inside the cult is reading this. If even one person comes across this and finds within themselves the courage to fight back and to reclaim their life then I'll be overjoyed.

I am not seeing "hopelessness and apathy" among the ex-Scn kids who post here. Many of these people underwent extreme stress, hardship, and suffering at a young age. On this board in particular, I believe they are deserving of kindness, encouragement, compassion, and understanding.

I think that maybe if one looks at the situation of a person trying to escape the SO as being VERY similar to that of a woman who is being physically and mentally abused by her husband, this might be put into better perspective. When a person has been abused and controlled by another person, and in the case of the SO a group of people, leaving is extremely difficult. Yes, you know you have 'rights', yes you know you are "free", but there are obstacles. There is the fear of them chasing you, lurking about, making threats, using friends and family against you. They threaten you with interfering with your job prospects, neighbors, and your landlord. They intend to have the escapee feel helpless and the SO is good at it. These are real threats, they are real concerns, and especially when you are alone these threats can be devastating.

It is easy to sit on the sidelines and say, "just leave, you are free and no one can legally stop you." If one wants to use legal channels, they must have the resources and evidence to provide to the authorities. In the case of escaping abusive situations, this isn't black and white or easily achieved. The law can also be delayed in response, and in some cases they won't even do anything unless there has been an assault or criminal action on which they can base their actions. After leaving an abusive situation, one is still in the mindset of the abused, IT IS NOT EASY!!!! Therefore, to sit back and judge people in these situations, even if you've left too, is not helpful, encouragement is. One can never really know the extent of fear and abuse that was inflicted on a particular person, unless they are that person's therapist, etc.

Every person, including those on this forum, who has walked, run, tiptoed, gotten away in any manner, from the SO or the Co$ is a hero and deserves understanding, encouragemnet, and a pat on the back.

Thanks Invisible, you are right - to escape without social security card, bank account, without knowledge of the outside life is really hard...
And that OSA, etc are chasing you is real. I was here at Tampa at the University Mall ehrn 3-4 OSA guys in a car were following me - they were used to have Dianetics book sale booth at the mall and as I was used to know many scientologist from Tampa and Clearwater they considered me as a threat and followed me numerous times.